A Change of Heart
by pallasphoenix
Summary: Nationals are in the Big Apple this year, and Santana and Tina can't keep their eyes off each other.
1. Chapter 1

Intro: This is set in season 2 right before Nationals. In this version the glee kids don't all share two big rooms but they're split up into pairs. Brittana's confessions in "Sexy" never happened, so Brittany isn't even on Santana's radar really. They're just friends. Also, Tina's stutter is real.

This is a Santina story. Enjoy.

* * *

**A Change of Heart**

**Chapter 1**

It's a lovely Friday afternoon in April here at McKinley High. The sun is shining, birds are singing; everything is perfect. When the final bell of the day rings, I slam the chemistry binder in front of me closed and slide the black backpack strap onto my shoulder. I quickly hurry to the choir room, frightfully excited for what Mr. Shu has to say. This weekend is Nationals, so we're getting the details of the trip and our roommate assignments this afternoon. I'm desperately hoping that Mr. Shu won't pull an 'everyone needs to get along' and put us with glee clubbers that we don't like.

When I enter the choir room everyone is already there. Mercedes waves me over and I excitedly sit in the red, plastic chair next to her.

"Girl, I hope we get to be roomies," Mercedes gushes, a big smile on her face. "We can stay up until 3 am and watch movies and paint our nails. I mean, without Kurt it won't be the same, but still…"

"Alright, everyone settle down," Mr. Shu shouts, and Mercedes roll her eyes at his irritating interruption. I grin knowingly at the diva; silently pleading that Mr. Shu would fulfill our wishes and let us be room together. Everyone stops his or her conversations to listen to the choir leader.

"Okay, listen up! I have here in my hands the rooming arrangements for Nationals!" We all cheer in excitement, all of us ready for Nationals. Mr. Shu smiles and unfolds the paper in his hand, reading the first pair of roommates off his list.

"For the guys, Finn and Puck, Artie and Mike, then Kurt and Sam," Mr. Shu announces, and all the guys (save for Kurt) high-five each other, stoked for the all night parties they think they'll be having. The Spanish teacher clears his throat before he resumes reading.

"And the girls: Brittany and Rachel, Quinn and Mercedes, and Santana and Tina."

As soon as the last word leaves his mouth, I hear a shout from a certain feisty Latina behind me.

"Oh hell no! I'm not sleeping in the same room as Chang-Wonder!" Santana exclaims, her hands flying in the air. "Why can't I stay with Brittany, Mr. Shu? I thought you said you would take our suggestions into consideration or whatever!" The Spanish teacher shakes his head and puts his hands out to stop Santana's rant.

"Santana, sit down and take a breather," Mr. Shu says to the enraged girl. With a reluctant groan, Santana sits back down and crosses her arms on her chest, sending a murderous glare over to me before I turn back to Mr. Shu. God, she **hates** me.

"I did this so you could all get to know each other a little better. We're not changing anything; just deal with it for the three days we'll be in New York," Mr. Shu says, calming the Latina down a bit. As he continues to talk about the details of the New York trip, all I'm thinking about is how suddenly Santana spoke out about being my roommate. I mean, I haven't really done anything to her. I know she's the HBIC and all in glee, but she's never had much of a problem with me before. As I turn around I see Santana's big brown eyes staring right at me. I try to smile at her, but she just goes back to the dagger throwing. With a frown, I sink down in my chair and think about how horrible my nights will be.

o o o

"Let me just say that I am extremely excited for this trip. I've always wanted to see New York, because one day I'll end up on the Broadway stage," Rachel says, making me roll my eyes a tiny bit. Rachel was alright, but only in small doses. I'm just glad I don't have to room with her. Mercedes shoots me a look from two rows down the aisle. Rachel decided to sit between Kurt and I before we could protest, and Mercedes was too late getting to the terminal to grab a seat with us.

"I can see it now, our names in lights above the stage, 'The New Directions, Starring Lead Vocalist Miss Rachel Berry'. It will be fantastic!"

I'm drawing the line here. "L-l-listen, Rach," I say, trying a nickname in order to sound friendly. "Would you mind n-n-not talking for a bit? It's just that… you're kind of getting on Kurt's nerves."

Kurt makes slicing motions at his neck in an attempt to stop me from pinning Rachel on him, but it's already too late.

"Kurt, you think that I talk too much?" the diva begins, her hard brown eyes trained on the fashionable boy. "Because if you do, that's not acceptable. I've worked too hard -" I zone out when I hear someone snicker. Trying to find out who was laughing, I look over to Mercedes, but she's got headphones on and is reading a Skymall magazine. I hear a stifled giggle behind me and I twist around to see Santana covering her mouth, trying not to laugh. Without thinking about it, I laugh as well, smiling at the Latina. When she sees me, though, she immediately breaks eye contact and buries her head in a random magazine (which is upside down, by the way). Feeling confused, I turn back to an enraged Rachel and an apologetic Kurt.

This is going to be a long flight.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Change of Heart**

**Chapter 2**

I'm lying on the comfy bed in my hotel room, headphones secure on my ears. I switch the song on my iPod before setting it back down next to me and folding my arms under my head. Santana has been on her phone for the past three hours talking to Quinn and now Brittany. Good lord, she talks **so** loud.

I boost the volume on my music when the Latina next to me cackles manically about something her friend had said. I turn my head to the side and watch her lips move as she speaks, I see them form words and then curl back in laughter. She's sitting cross-legged on the bed, wearing fuzzy slippers on her feet, _Victoria's Secret_ sweatpants, and a white, lacey tank top.

"Britt, you did **not**! That's hilarious… yeah… mhmmm…. Listen B I've gotta go. Catch you tomorrow morning… yeah okay… okay, love you, bye," Santana says and finally hangs up the phone, throwing it down on our shared nightstand. I quickly turn my head back to facing up at the ceiling so she won't catch me staring. I've found myself staring at her a lot lately.

The Latina groans when she knocks over some of the makeup I have on the table. "Chang, could you keep the Asian shit on your side?" I frown and take off my headphones, complying with Santana's request. Not saying anything to me, she lays back on the bed and closes her eyes. She looks so peaceful, not vicious like she is when she has her guard up.

"S-s-s-santana, why do you hate me so m-m-uch?" I ask before I can realize what I've said. Trying not to seem scared out of my mind, I look Santana directly in the eyes. She stares at me, and I can tell she's trying to concoct an answer that would make my self-esteem plummet down far below normal levels.

"I don't hate you," she says. I wait for an explanation, but I don't get one.

"Well then why did you make such a b-big d-d-d-deal about being in the same room with me?" I ask. Besides the comment about my makeup and the making toys thing, Santana hasn't really made fun of me since we got to New York. She has sort of left me alone all this time.

"Isn't that enough for you, Tina? Just leave me alone," Santana says, and with that she rolls over and pretends to fall asleep. With a sigh, I unplug the iPod from their headphones and then walk to the small bathroom. I turn on the faucet to wash my face, and as I take the headphones off my neck, I accidentally drop them in the running water.

"Shit! Oh no, no, no, no. P-please work, I'm sorry," I apologize to the piece of equipment. I turn the faucet off and try to see if the headphones still work. To my misfortune, they're dead. "Damnit…" Angry, I crawl into bed and shut off the light, looking at Santana's back one more time before I pull up the covers and drift off to sleep.

o o o

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8," Mr. Shu yells, clapping his hands to the rhythm of the choreography. "C'mon guys, you've got to focus. Finn, loosen up," the teacher comments, which makes the football player frown and slouch. "From the top!"

As we dance, I can't help but notice how great of a dancer everyone else is. Especially Santana, who is wearing red leg warmers and black leggings with a tight, dark t-shirt that leaves virtually nothing to the imagination. Standing next to Brittany and Mike she doesn't seem very talented, but compared to me she's a goddess. Wait, I didn't mean to say that. I meant-

"Tina, watch out!" I hear Mercedes shout. Before I can answer, a fist knocks me down and I'm lying sprawled on the floor. My vision goes blurry and I can hardly see. I can hear the other glee kids calling my name, and I see someone hunched over me. I close my eyes for just a second…

_Chang? Chang, can you hear me? God, Tina, wake up! C'mon, there are lead painted toys to assemble! _

I slowly open my eyes to see Santana's hawk-like chocolate brown orbs staring into mine. I can feel her hands on my shoulders, shaking me awake.

"Santana… t-t-that's s-s-s-so racist…" I mumble, still groggy. I see Santana smile; a beautiful sight.

"It got you up, didn't it?" she laughs, and for a second she has let her guard down. She was genuinely concerned for me. "Can you stand?" Santana asks, and when I nod she takes my hand and lifts me to my feet. The circle of glee kids around me steps back to let me breathe. I nod and smile to them, giving them some reassurance.

"Yeah, I'm f-fine. You got me good, Finn," I joke, and immediately I am overwhelmed by a flurry of apologies.

"I'm so sorry Tina… I didn't think my dancing was dangerous or anything. It won't happen again, I'll stand over there from now on," Finn says, pointing to the opposite side of the stage.

"It's okay Finn. You didn't mean it… and besides I feel okay," I say, and Finn runs a hand through his hair and apologizes one more time. He walks away with the others and I turn to Santana to thank her. "Hey S-s-santana, thanks for helping me. That was really-"

"Don't expect it to be a regular thing, Tina," she says, and with that returns to her spot next to Brittany. I stand there for a moment, shocked.

She called me Tina.

"Tina, I just wanted to make sure you're alright," Mr. Shu says, coming over and placing a hand on my shoulder. "Do you feel well enough to continue?"

I nod my head vehemently. "I won't give up when we're t-this close, Mr. Shu," I say, and he smiles and pats me on the back.

"That's the spirit, Tina. Okay, everyone, from the top!"


	3. Chapter 3

**A Change of Heart**

**Chapter 3**

It's about 9 o'clock at night on our first day in NYC, and Kurt and I have just come back inside after a lovely walk around Central Park. Kurt sure knows a hell of a lot about the city for someone who's never been. Supposedly.

Anyway, I say my goodnights to Kurt and then head up to my room, and I'm feverishly hoping that Santana will be out with Brittany and Quinn. For some reason I haven't been able to get my mind off the Latina, and being alone in a room with her would definitely not help me get her out of my head. I just keep thinking about her laugh, her smile, and how incredibly hot she looked in those tights at rehearsal. With a sigh, I exit the elevator and turn the corner just in time to see an angry Santana pointing jabbing a finger at a terrified Finn. Wanting to hear what they're talking about, I hide behind the wall and listen closely, which isn't too hard because Santana is a yeller.

"Finn, you've got to watch where you swing those Neanderthal arms… seriously hurt her," I hear Santana say, but I don't catch every word. Was she talking about me?

"I'm sorry! I wasn't paying attention," Finn says in defense. I can hear Santana groan, and probably roll her eyes too.

"Just don't… alright? I don't want her… hurt," Santana says, and I hear Finn agree and then begin to walk to the elevator. Good thing someone had just come out of there, because I would've been caught. Was Santana protecting me? I'm not sure, but I wave when I see her trying to unlock the door. I can hear Santana groan as I walk closer, to which I raise an eyebrow. Reluctantly, she turns to me and points to the doorknob with an open hand.

"I think I took Brittany's key card when we were down at the lobby," she explains, and I nod, trying my best not to look at the Latina. It's obvious she has gone out tonight; she has dark eyeliner around her eyes, and her raven hair is slightly tousled and loaded with hairspray. I can smell the designer perfume on her carmel colored skin, and I have to turn my attention to the lock in order to stop myself from leaning in and taking in the scent of her perfume. I slip the key card out from my wallet and swipe it through the door, letting the lock click before pushing the door open.

"There you go," I say, and brusquely walk into the room before Santana. I hear her shut the door as I set my purse on the table. I am about to go and change into my pajamas when I feel the Latina grab my shoulders and whirl me around. Before I can say anything, Santana's lips are crushed against mine, her hand pressed flat against my back. It feels so good, so I lean into the kiss, locking lips with the beautiful Latina.

I feel her retreat and I look into her brown eyes, wondering what the hell that was. Santana looks a little frantic, her chocolate orbs searching my face for a reaction.

"S-s-so that's h-how you feel?" I ask, and Santana grins sheepishly. "Why now? I d-d-don't understand."

Santana shrugs her shoulders. "I don't either. But let's not think about that," she says, her lips brushing my ear as she nuzzles into my neck. As if it's an instinct, I cup Santana's face in my hands and pull her in for a kiss, letting my tongue slide into her mouth. She groans and her hands begin to roam around my stomach. The Latina pulls her lips away from mine for a moment.

"Is this okay?" she asks, and I nod, locking lips with her once more. Our kiss becomes deeper, more frantic, as her hand slips up my shirt. I grin against the kiss when she expertly un-clasps my bra, helping my arms out of the undergarment. Santana pinches the black, lacey bra with her thumb and forefinger before letting it fall to the floor and palming my breast.

"Oh g-g-g-god, S-s-s-santana," I moan quietly. "That f-feels so g-g-good." I grab her waist with my hands and let her hands run up and down my body, not knowing what to do with mine. Santana laughs softly.

"You're so cute when you stutter," she says, and then looks up at me with dark eyes. "Do you want to…." I raise and eyebrow, confused on what she want to do. She smiles and nods to her bed.

_Should I? I mean… we can't get pregnant. But what if she has STD's? What if I'm doing the wrong thing here? I mean… _

_Follow your heart_ says a little voice in my head. Feeling courageous, I gently push Santana onto the big white bed and straddle her hips while holding the Latina's hands for balance. Our fingers intertwined, I lean down to suck on the beautiful girl's bottom lip, hoping that I made the right decision.

o o o

I wake up to the sound of a ringing telephone. I reach for the receiver and pick it up, greeting the caller. It's a wake up call that Mr. Shu had initiated; today was competition day. We would be at Nationals all day, but then we would had all of Sunday to go sightseeing. I thank the woman and hang up, suddenly noticing a weight on my chest.

It's Santana curled up next to me, her long raven hair carefully spread out on the white pillow. The Latina is still sleeping, (she obviously hadn't heard the loud ringing noise), her eyes closed and her breathing even. With a smile, I run a hand over her bare shoulders, covering myself up with the sheets. I softly chuckle when she waves me away and groans. I decide to try a different tactic, so I lean over her and kiss her gently on the cheek.

"Time to wake up," I say as seductively as possible. Truth be told, I am still shaken by last night. I have just lost my V-card at 16, and to Santana Lopez no less. But for some reason, it felt alright. I just hope that Santana cares about me like I do her. Because if she just wanted to have sex with me…

"Mmmmm no," Santana murmurs, rolling over and opening her gorgeous brown eyes. "Oh, it's you." At first, I think she serious and I'm about to shout at her when she smiles and reaches up for a kiss.

"We've got to get ready… I'm taking the first shower," I say playfully and then run to the bathroom with my duffel bag, sheets still around my body.

"Don't take too long," Santana calls back to me, and I lean out the doorframe and wink to her.

I think I'm in love.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Change of Heart**

**Chapter 4**

I wait patiently for Santana to step out of the shower, smiling when I hear her singing in the bathroom.

_And the birds are singing like they know the score. And I love you, I love you, I love you like never before…_

I don't know if that song is for me, but it would be better if Santana doesn't know I can hear her. After a few minutes, I hear the water turn off. I don't want the Latina to think I've been waiting for her all this time, so I quickly reach into my purse and get my iPod and headphones, only to remember that I destroyed the headphones two nights ago. I hear the door open and Santana is standing there, casually laying her towel out on a nearby chair. She turns to me and sees the headphones in my hand and points to them.

"Aren't those broken?" she asks, confused. I nod.

"I-I-I need to b-buy new ones," I sputter, angry with myself for stumbling over a simple sentence. Santana picks up on this, but doesn't say anything. She nods.

"We should head down to the lobby, the other gleeks are probably waiting for us," she says, and goes towards the door.

"Wait," I say, still sitting on the bed. Santana turns around slowly. "Are we together… or was t-t-this…" Without wanting it, tears fall from my eyes at the thought of Santana using me for sex. In an instant she is next to me, kneeling down and holding me in her arms.

"Shh, shh, it's okay," she coos, trying to calm me down. "I would never do that to you." She rubs my back and sighs. "I would never use you like that. The truth is, Tina, I really like you. I want you to be my girlfriend."

I inhale a sharp intake of air. "Really?" I ask, looking into her chocolate brown eyes.

Santana nods, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I've watched you in the choir room for a long time. I'm sorry I was so mean to you… I had feelings that I didn't know how to deal with. I've wanted this for such a long time, Tina. I hope you'll understand that I would never use you like that." I nod and wrap my arms around Santana, and I feel safe in her warm embrace. Knowing that we should leave soon, I quickly check myself in the mirror. I look awful, so I hastily wipe my eyes and reapply makeup.

"Okay, let's go," I say, and hold out my arm for Santana to link with. She stops at the threshold before I open the door. "W-what's wrong?"

She shakes her head, visibly worried. "It's not your fault… it's just that I don't think I ready to come out quite yet," she says. "Would it be alright if we kept us a secret?"

I want to say no. I want to tell her that she shouldn't care what everyone else thinks. I want to walk down the hall, hand in hand. I want to kiss her in public and show her off to my friends. But it's her decision.

I nod faithfully. "Of course. Whenever you're r-r-ready is when I'll be ready," I say in a reassuring tone, and then unlock the door. Santana pulls me in for one last hug before we go out.

"You're a miracle, Tina."

o o o

It's almost show time. We're all anxiously awaiting our turn in the green room, hoping that the light will flicker soon so we can get this show on the road. I must say, our outfits have improved from last year's t-shirt and jeans get up. The girls are wearing beautiful black dresses with red waistbands, and the guys are wearing the usual black shirt and red suspenders. I'm not looking at them, though. I'm taking every opportunity to sneak a glimpse of my new girlfriend. She decided that we would avoid each other so we wouldn't look suspicious, so she's sitting on the couch across from me with Brittany. I'm a little jealous, but Santana keeps winking at me when no one is looking, which makes me feel a little better.

Suddenly, the lights in the green room flicker on and off. Mr. Shu claps his hands together in anticipation. "Guys, let's make this our best performance ever!" We all put a hand in the circle; mine strategically placed on top of Santana's.

"1, 2, 3, NEW DIRECTIONS!" we all shout, and the lights flicker again. Everyone quickly disperses in a mad dash to get to the stage before we're disqualified. I catch a quick look at Santana's fleeting figure as she runs down the hall with Brittany.

"Tina, come on. We're gonna be late!" Mercedes yells, then takes my hand and drags me down the hallway.

When we reach the backstage area, Mercedes leaves me to get to her spot on stage right. I, along with Santana, am on the other side. I give my friend a thumbs up before disappearing to find Santana, and I'm hoping that we can have at least a few seconds alone before the curtain rises.

A voice comes on the system and announces the McKinley High New Directions, and I know that I only have two minutes to find my girlfriend. I hear the piano begin to play, and there are Rachel and Finn singing their duet. When I turn away from the performance I see Santana consoling Brittany, giving her words of encouragement. When I catch her eye, Santana quickly sends Brittany somewhere else and runs over to me, planting a quick kiss on my cheek.

"_Buena suerte, mamacita_," Santana says to me, and I laugh.

"What d-does that mean? I'm taking Italian," I grin, holding her hands in mine.

"I'm wishing you good luck, dork. You'll do great," she assures me, and then she glances over to the stage. "They're almost done. We should get to our places…"

"Good l-luck, Santana," I say, and she smiles. I drop her hand and watch her hop to her place, winking at me.

I can see Santana take a step towards the stage after the piano stops playing, and I watch as her beautiful features contort into anger, her eyes glued to the stage. I peel back the curtain a tiny bit and I peek out to see Rachel and Finn standing on stage, holding each other and kissing. They didn't even seem to care that they were making the audience uncomfortable.

When I hear a lone clapper, I join them, hoping the couple would end the awkward kiss and get on with the show. After the clapping recedes, I hear the guitar strum and I know that it's our time to go onstage. I skip behind Santana as she begins the song, her soulful voice eliciting cheers from the crowd. After Santana steps back and join the general chorus, I sway in the back to the music and provide back up vocals for the juniors as they carry the song until the end. When they finish, we bow and the curtain goes down.

Without a word, Santana runs off the stage, and I know that it's back to pretending that we didn't make love in our hotel room last night. But it would be worth it, eventually…

o o o

The New Directions all stand outside in the hallway, no one speaking to each other. Santana has casually found her way next to me, and the desire to take her hand is biting and urgent.

Mr. Shu looks sad and disappointed, much like the rest of us. He apologized most of the way home, and some of us apologized too. Rachel and Finn didn't, though, and they were the ones who lost us Nationals.

I've noticed that Santana has been quiet the entire way back to the hotel and she looks really angry. Before I can process what's happening, Santana lunges towards Rachel, screaming a slew of curses at the diva. I grab the angry girl by the waist, wrenching her away from Rachel (who is in tears by now).

"_¡Escucha! ¡Soy de Lima Heights Adjacent y yo tengo orgullo! ¿Sabes lo que pasa en Lima Heights Adjacent? ¡Cosas malas!" _Santana kept on screaming at Rachel. I tried my best to calm her down, but nothing seemed to work.

"S-s-s-santana, s-s-s-stop it!" I shout, holding her back with all my strength. "It's not worth it… you're making a fool out of y-y-yourself! I know it's really tempting, but ripping Rachel's face off isn't going to w-win us Nationals." Santana stops thrashing and puts her hands on the arms around her waist. Rachel looks shocked an disturbed.

"I'm not finished with you, RuPaul," Santana shouts, and I let her stand on her own. The Latina brushes herself off and pushes through the rest of our group to get out of the hotel.

"Should I go after her?" Puck asks, running a frantic hand through his Mohawk. "I know how to handle her when she's like this." Brittany is standing behind Puck, and it's clear that wants to come as well.

I shake my head. "No, I'll g-g-go. Stay here," I say, holding out my hand to stop their advances. I quickly make my way down the floors and into the fresh air where I see Santana, still fuming, on a bench outside. I smile and sit down next to her, taking in the scents of the sweet spring air. I close my eyes let the calm breeze tickle my face, sending tendrils of warmth down and around my body. When my eyes open, I see the pretty Latina smiling at me. It's a beautiful thing. I close my eyes again and turn my face to the sun.

"Feeling better now?" I ask with the slightest hint of arrogance. I feel her hand resting on top of mine and I grin.

"Much better," she says, and then Santana clears her throat. "I'm sorry you had to see that… I just got so angry. I mean, we worked so hard to get here… and then the dwarf and Franken teen just ruin it because they wanted to kiss?" she explains, and I can tell she's probably frowning. "Wanky."

I nod. "I know, I f-feel the same way," I open my eyes and look at her, admiring the way that she wears red lipstick so eloquently, and how her cat eye eyeliner is perfectly drawn. "I just don't go a bat shit crazy and try to kill them." Santana giggles and scoots closer to me on the bench, and she leaves no space between us. She casually rests her hand on my thigh, and I'm trying to keep from jumping off the park bench out of excitement.

"Thank you for pulling me out of there, by the way," she says. "I would've done something I would've regretted."

"I'm looking out f-f-for you, don't you worry," I assure her, resting my head on her shoulder. "I'll make sure you don't do anything s-s-stupid."

Santana smiles and rests her head on top of mine. "What would you say if I told you I'll take you out tonight?" I lift my head in curiosity. A date? That would be nice.

"Where would we go?" I ask, hoping it's not a chicken stand or something.

"I passes a cute little Italian restaurant on my way back last night… would Miss Tina be interested?" She asks quietly, squeezing my thigh.

"Y-y-y-yeah. T-t-that sounds f-f-f-fine," I manage to spit out, nervous as hell. "Pick me u-u-up at 6?"

Santana smiles and leans in for a kiss. "Yes. I'll pick you up at 6."


	5. Chapter 5

**A Change of Heart**

**Chapter 5**

The restaurant Santana takes me to is a small mom-and-pop place in Manhattan. When we're being seated, she pulls my chair out for me. We sit down and I take in the sights of the restaurant. It's very cute, and romantic.

A single rose stands on a checkered cloth between Santana and I in the center of the table. After talking for a while and ordering our food, the waiter comes around with our food and he sets the plates down in front of us. Santana ordered the penne, and I get some random pasta off the menu. The dark-haired girl in front of me takes my hand and places it on the tabletop, clutching it with her fingers. She smiles up at me and I wink back, and she starts on her pasta with gusto. I watch her eat for a moment or two before I speak up.

"What's your f-favorite color?" I ask, and Santana looks up at me in confusion.

"Why do you want to know?" she responds, instinctively becoming defensive. I squeeze her hand and shake my head.

"I thought that we should know t-t-things about each other if w-w-we're dating," I explain, looking down at my lap. "I-if you don't want to…" I hear Santana laugh and raise my head.

"No, I think that's a great idea," she assures me, which makes me feel a hell of a lot better. "And red." I smile, keeping that in the back of my mind for later.

"Okay, my turn," she says, moving her eyebrows up and down comically. "Do you stutter when you're nervous?"

I didn't expect her to ask those sorts of questions so quickly. But I suppose everyone always wonders why I have such a difficult time speaking.

"I-I-I do. I-I mean, I can control it s-s-sometimes, but not always," I tell her, looking into her kind, brown eyes. "I-I-It gets bad when I'm n-nervous."

"Like now?" she asks, a sly smirk hiding at the corners of her mouth. I nod.

"Yeah, like now," I say. "Does that b-b-b-bother you?" As soon as I say that, Santana makes an apologetic noise.

"Oh no, Tina. It doesn't," she exclaims, holding my hand tighter. "I just think it bothers you sometimes."

It's not like I hate myself for stuttering. It's just that it gets in the way of speaking, and I got bullied in middle school and high school for it. And, like last night, it's terribly embarrassing when I get emotional and I can barely get a word out.

My eyes are downcast; I don't have the courage to look at Santana. "I-It's no big deal. It's j-just frustrating," I say, and I look up at her. "Every t-t-time I tried to talk to you in school, I would stutter and run away. I couldn't even get past your name, I was so nervous." I hope she won't judge my confession. I expect her to wall up and think I'm crazy.

But she transcends my expectations.

She smiles warmly. "That's adorable… I feel so terrible for what I put you through. I feel like a horrible person, making fun of you and throwing slushies in your face. I'm sorry that I released my anger on you and the rest of the gleeks, Tina."

I'm shocked. An apology? All my dreams are coming true… all because of a trip to New York.

"I forgive you, S-S-Santana," I say, giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek, and I can see her blush a bit at my touch. "My turn. When did you first know you liked me?"

Santana grins and lets out a throaty chuckle at this. "Don't think I'm weird, but Brittany and I were in the auditorium when you and Mr. Shu came in. We kind of hid, and I heard you sing "Tonight". It was beautiful, and from then on I had a major crush on you…. which led to this."

I grin devilishly. "S-stalker, much?" She lightly swats my arm, laughing hysterically.

"Your turn. On a scale from one to ten, how hot do you think I am?" Santana asks, and I can barely contain myself.

"An easy twelve," I say, and lean in for a kiss. When we pull away I smile and look for the waiter. "I'm ready for a c-change of scenery… how about you?"

Santana nods and she grabs her small, black shoulder bag. "Let's get going. Go wait outside; I'll go pay." I nod in agreement and walk to the exit of the eating establishment. A little bell tinkles when I push open the door, the cool night air greeting me with frigid fingers. Good thing I've got a jacket, but I'm wearing a skintight black dress… and I'm sort of freezing.

Anyway, Santana finally comes out of the building and I take her arm, walking down the city streets with her. Being insanely cold, I snuggle up against the Latina as we cross the street. I can tell she's smiling.

"Do you want to get dangerous, Chang?" Santana asks. I raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"Where are we g-going?" I ask, but Santana just takes my hand and pulls me forward.

"You're just f-f-full of surprises, a-a-aren't you?" I jest, pulling her close. She laughs, throwing her head back and letting her dark tresses fall behind her.

"It's just a little further…" Santana promises, leading me to the next street. "This will be fun, I promise."

My eyes bulge out of my head when we come to a small, dark bar squeezed between a food shop and a card store.

"A b-bar?" I stutter, looking at Santana with terrified eyes. I've never had a drink, first of all. Secondly, how are we going to get in? Like she could read minds, Santana hands me a card.

"Take this. You're Yumi Long," the Latina tells me, pressing a fake ID into my palm. "Just act natural, okay?" I can only nod and look at the rectangle of plastic in my hand.

"This doesn't even look like me! S-S-Santana!" I call, but my girlfriend is already at the entrance of the bar. Straightening my dress and mussing my hair up a bit, I walk confidently into the bar behind Santana. All I need to gain entrance is a quick flash of my ID and I'm in.

I follow Santana to the bar and sit on a stool next to her. She expertly orders us two drinks (I forgot the name of it) and spins around to look at the other patrons. I turn around too, not knowing what to do with myself. After sitting in silence for the longest time, I finally build up the courage to speak.

"Did you bring me here to see h-h-how much I can d-drink?" I smirk, nodding my head when Santana hands me a drink. I stare at the cup and wait for an answer.

"I don't know, I know you like dancing. What better place to dance together than a bar?" Santana said, resting a hand on my thigh. "And yes, I want to see how drunk I can get you by the end of the night."

We're spending the next hour laughing a drinking, laughing and drinking. I'm having so much fun with Santana that I loose all my inhibitions and I drink whatever she gives me. Her parents must be loaded for her to have all this extra spending money for drinks.

I shriek in delight when I hear my favorite song begin to play.

"S-S-Santana, let's go!" I exclaim, excitedly pulling her off the stool. She gulps down the last of her drink, slams it down on the counter, and then joins me on the dance floor.

Santana slides up behind me and places a pair of hands on my hips. I smile and move my hips to the music, grinding up against the Latina in the process. She leans down to give me a kiss, and I grab her chin and hold her there, still swaying to the music. I'm so drunk that I don't even care if we're making a scene. All I care about is keeping her lips on mine. When she pulls away, I twist around and bury my fingers in her dark tresses, locking lips with her. For some reason, Santana peels me off her and leads me to a nearby table. I sit clumsily, trying to act more sober than I actually am. I mean sure, I was a bit tipsy. But what had crawled up Santana's ass? She was always game for making out.

"W-w-what's wrong, S-S-Santana?" I ask, tilting my head to the side. Santana shakes her head.

"Tina, honey, you're wasted. Let's go back…"

"How d-d-do you k-k-know? I'm s-s-s-so sober, " I interrupt. Santana leans in and smiles.

"You're stuttering is off the charts. Plus, you're a little too touchy for a public place," Santana explains, but I'm not thinking and just blurt out whatever's on my mind.

"I'm n-not s-s-s-stuttering, S-S-Santana," I say, holding up a finger. "S-secondly, I thought I you liked my hands all over you." Santana smiles and pulls me out of the booth. I know that this is about her insecurity with her being gay, but I'm glad I don't point it out.

"Let's go get some fresh air," she says, and we exit the bar holding hands. After a few minutes of walking, Santana stops and pulls me back. Without thinking twice, I lock my lips around hers and pull her closer to me, wanting to feel her body against mine. She responds to me, leaning in closer and deepening the kiss. We continue like this for a while, occasionally turning our heads and pulling away for air. It's like we've done this for a lifetime, and it never gets old.

Santana withdraws from the kiss, moving down to work on my neck. I'm pretty sure I'll have to wear a scarf tomorrow. I lean into her, my hands splayed flat across her back. Her lips brush up against mine and we share a passionate kiss that leaves me dizzy and disoriented. I can tell that Santana is a little drunk, not as much as I am, but just enough to be a bit more horny than usual.

"D-d-d-damn," I stutter. Santana smiles and plays with the bottom of my dress, her gaze flashing to capture mine. She catches my hand when I try to hold hers.

"Tina, you're freezing," she exclaims, holding my hand in the middle of both of hers. As she tries to warm me up, I see her looking at my chest.

"S-s-s-Santana. M-m-my eyes are up h-here," I say with a grin, my stuttering worse because of the cold. My girlfriend doesn't care, though.

"I really want this dress off you," Santana says, her eyes a dark shade of lust. "How about we hurry on down to the hotel and get you out of those… cumbersome clothes."

Now I'm not one to give in to sexual desires… not that I've been with anyone besides Santana. But being with Santana makes me want to tear her clothes off every time I look at her. I'm not sure if those are the teenage hormones talking, but I'm listening all the same.

I don't even remember the walk back to the hotel, or the elevator ride to the sixth floor, or even walking into our hotel room. I'm so caught up in the whirlwind that is Santana Lopez that I don't notice anything around me. All I care about is she and I.

I scream in laughter when she scoops me up and carefully lays me on my bed. She never takes her eyes off me as I take off my dress, left only in my bra and panties. Santana cautiously straddles my hips, pushing my knees open with her leg. I obey, and her soft, full lips crash into mine. She moans into my open mouth, and then sucks in a breath before gently trailing her hand down my thigh.

"You're still so cold… I'll warm you up, baby," the Latina says with a sly smile. I haven't even noticed my chattering teeth until Santana pointed it out. Although her hand on my bare skin feels like pure ecstasy, I take Santana's hand and remove it from my inner thigh.

"It's your t-t-t-turn tonight," I say as confidently as I can manage. Santana looks confused and is about protest but I expertly flip her on her back and put my lips to her neck, tasting the soft skin. I can hear her moan beneath me, and my hands travel down to the bottom of her lovely red dress. I hitch the material up and splay my fingers down south. Wanting the friction, Santana pulls her dress off to allow me more access.

"Oh, Tina. Yeah, right there," Santana, moans, the white sheets twisted in her fists. I shakily move my hand down Santana's body to her entrance. Nervous, I begin to try and back track.

"Baby, let me show you," she says, and takes her fingers and slides them up my entrance. I feel myself getting wet, and I hold onto Santana for dear life. Before I reach my orgasm, she pulls out and takes my hand. "Do that to me," she commands, and I slide a finger into Santana. She gasps at the contact, and I keep the rhythm for the two of us. When she feels herself getting close, Santana shoves two fingers into me, causing me to do the same to her. At the same time, we both hit our orgasms, falling down the precipice together. I feel her pull out of me and her arms wrap around me, both of us shaking from the release. I can feel her breasts flat against my back, and she's incredibly warm. She rubs my arms and breathes on my neck and everything we've done feels so good. I know that I should be asleep now, not sleeping with Santana, but do I care? No.

"Baby, you're warm now," Santana chuckles in my ear. She curls her leg around mine, and I can feel her breathing level out.

I laugh. "I'm like a t-toaster," I say, which makes her laugh. I take her hand and curl my fingers around it, comforted by her presence. We lay there for a while in silence, listening to our synchronized breathing. Too tired and too drunk to stay awake, I fall asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**A Change of Heart**

**Chapter 6**

I wake up to a banging noise on the door that sounds like gunfire. If the constant banging isn't enough, I also have a monster hangover from the night before. I groan when the door sounds again, someone on the other side obviously desperate to come in.

"San, it's me! Can you tell me how to work this key? I kind of forgot," I hear Brittany say from the other side of the door. I lay my head back down on the pillow, snuggling up next to Santana.

Brittany.

Shit! Brittany has Santana's key, which means that if she can figure out how to open the door, we're busted.

The ditzy blonde bangs on the door again but I ignore her. Battling a pounding headache, I sit up and rock Santana's sleeping form back and forth.

"S-Santana. Wake up," I whisper in her ear, hoping she'll get up. She groans and rolls away from me. "S-S-Santana, B-Brittany's at the door."

Santana's eyes fly open and she almost jumps out of the bed. Without saying a word, she flips out of bed and searches for something to wear.

"Here," I whisper and throw her one of my big t-shirts. She quickly slips it on with a smile and goes to answer the door. Still naked, I jump into my bed and cover myself, turning my back to the door and pretending to be asleep. I hear Brittany bang on the door one last time before Santana opens it and greets the girl.

"Hey Britts. Where's Are- I mean Mercedes?" I hear Santana ask, remembering that I'm in the room. "Aren't you supposed to stay together?"

"She was still sleeping, and I wanted to see you," I hear Brittany say, and the Latina laughs nervously. "Tina's still asleep?"

"Yeah. So, what's up?" Santana asks. Suddenly I hear the Latina gasp and the blonde shouts.

"What was that for? I thought you liked me… we haven't had a chance to do anything since we got to New York," Brittany whines, and I hear Santana groan.

Were Santana and Brittany fooling around before New York?

"Listen, B, I can't. I'm sorry, but I don't like you in that way," Santana says, and I can hear her sigh. "I'm sorry for leading you on like this."

"Is there someone else?" Brittany asks, a bit angry.

"No," Santana lies. "There isn't anyone else. I'm really sorry Britt-Britt, I just don't feel the same way." I hear Brittany sob a bit, and Santana sighs. After a minute or two, Brittany speaks up through soft sobs.

"Do you still want to be friends?" she asks, her tone asking for a yes. Santana laughs quietly, a delicious sound.

"Of course. I don't know what I'd do without you, Britt," she assures the blonde. "I've got to wake up Girl-Chang and take a shower… see you at 10?"

"Yeah," I hear Brittany agree. "See you!"

I hear Santana giggle and then shut the door. "Tina, she's gone." I roll over and just stare into Santana's soft brown eyes. "What?" she says, walking over to me.

"You were f-f-fooling around with Brittany?" I asked, already knowing the answer. Santana stops at the foot of my bed and sighs. "Why would you lead her on like t-t-that… she's with Artie."

"I didn't try to… I was just really confused," Santana explains, sitting down on the bed. I sit up slowly, my hand holding the sheets over my chest. "She just kissed me one night, and then we were… you know," Santana said, playing with the bed spread nervously.

"Doing it?" I say plainly. She bites her lip. "So… d-did you like her? Or were you just using her?"

Santana shakes her head. "Is this a common theme for you?" she asks angrily.

"I'm j-j-just asking," I say defensively. "I deserve t-to know."

"You don't deserve to know anything!" she yells, shooting up and gesturing angrily. "Why do you care what I did with Brittany?" When I don't say anything, she gets even angrier. "You know what I think? I think you're still doubting my loyalty!"

I raise an eyebrow. "I-I don't doubt your loyalty. I just-"

"No, you don't **just**, Tina. Why can't you just trust me?" she shouts, fisting her hands at her sides. "Brittany took advantage of _me!_ That's right, _she_ was the one who wanted me!" She turns away from me, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I was confused, and I didn't know what to do. She just came onto me… and she had a boyfriend. I didn't know what we were doing… but she used me. I didn't use her. Is that a good enough answer for you?" she shouts, then walks to her duffel bag and fishes out some clothes. "I'm taking a shower," are her last words to me before she slams the bathroom door, and leaves me alone with my thoughts.

o o o

The entire flight back home is painful. I keep looking back at Santana when no one is watching, but she just pretends to not notice me. Maybe I shouldn't have been angry, maybe I was being irrational, but the thought of Santana using people… I don't know. Have I made up the entire thing? Maybe I'm just upset because Brittany had her hands all over Santana. Maybe I'm angry that she's got a blonde on the side.

I sink lower in my chair, ignoring Mercedes and Kurt and I doze off, thinking about Santana. When I am shaken awake, I realize that I've slept through the entire flight.

"T, wake up," Mercedes calls, shoving me out of my seat. "We've got to go." I nod and grab my bag off the floor before exiting my seat and getting off the plane. I see Santana walk a ways in front of me beside Brittany and Artie and desperately fight the urge to call to her, to say I'm sorry. We're supposed to hate each other in the public eye, I remember.

"This was an awesome trip. I even went on a date with Sam," Mercedes gushes, and I put on a fake smile that fools my friend.

"Really? Did you kiss?" I hear Kurt ask excitedly. "That's so adorable!"

Mercedes rolls her eyes and whispers 'crazy' behind her hand. Kurt pretends to look upset. "No, we didn't," she says, tossing her bag over her shoulder. "But we came pretty damn close." Mercedes bumps my shoulder and grins. "You were gone for awhile last night. Kurt and I couldn't find you. Did you go out with anyone?"

There it is. The big question that I can't bear to lie to my best friends about, but I have to lie for Santana's sake.

"No, I just went exploring," I say matter-of-factly.

"What about Santana? She must've been the most obnoxious roommate," Kurt blurts out, rolling his eyes. "She was insane this morning at breakfast. She just shouted whatever was on her mind and called me an elf at least six times." Mercedes snorts and giggles a bit before succumbing to Kurt's deadly glare. I look at Santana getting on the bus before doing the most convincing lying of my life.

"She was a total bitch (lie). She ignored me the entire weekend (lie). She never even looked at me (biggest lie)," I say, boarding the bus, which will take us back home. For the slightest sliver of time I see Santana glance at me, but her face betrays no emotions. I sigh and only half listen to Mr. Shu as he congratulates us on a great year and tells the bus driver to get us home.

* * *

_I feel terrible doing this to them, but I had to. It wouldn't have been an interesting story without some conflict._


	7. Chapter 7

**A Change of Heart**

**Chapter 7**

_Three weeks later_

It's Tuesday and I'm sitting in the auditorium, waiting with the rest of the glee club for Mr. Shu. Everyone is chattering excitedly about this week's slew of performances. Since it's past Nationals and we don't have anything else important to do, Mr. Shu is just letting us perform whatever we'd like. But lately, I haven't been in the mood to sing.

I haven't talked to Santana since our argument, which means I've been a total wreak these past couple weeks. I just want to say I'm sorry, but every time I try to talk to her she grabs the nearest guy and starts making out with him. She's even picked up a new boy toy, Puck. So I've tried to kiss and make up, but Santana is pulling out all the stops.

Mr. Shuster runs onto the stage with a textbook and clipboard in hand. "Sorry guys, I was running a little late," he explains, then jumps off the stage and settles down in a seat next to Finn. "Who wants to perform their song first?"

He looks around and sees Rachel's eager hand raised, but obviously does not want to deal with her obnoxious mannerisms. Santana, sitting with her arms crossed and a pissed look on her face, catches his attention.

"Santana," he announces. "Why don't you start us off?" I turn away before she can see me looking at her, but I can imagine she's rolling her eyes and strutting up the stage stairs with those amazingly long legs of hers and she's most likely—I stop myself before I get any farther into breaking my heart.

She stands at the front of the stage and puts her hands on the mic stand. "I'll be singing "Blue Jeans" by Lana Del Rey," she says in a monotone voice, and then for the first time in three weeks she looks directly into my eyes. The music starts and she closes her eyes, swaying softly to the music. Chocolate eyes still closed, the beautiful Latina opens her mouth to sing.

_Blue jeans, white shirt_

_Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn_

_It was like, James Dean, for sure_

_You're so fresh to death and sick as ca-cancer_

_You were sorta punk rock; I grew up on hip-hop_

_But you fit me better than my favorite sweater, and I know_

_That love is mean, and love hurts_

_But I still remember that day we met in December, oh baby!_

Her eyes sweep over the crowd until they meet mine, and I can tell she's trying to look at me without really looking at me. Thankfully, no one seems to notice our ocular exchange.

_I will love you 'til the end of time_

_I would wait a million years_

_Promise you'll remember that you're mine_

_Baby can you see through the tears_

_Love you more_

_Than those bitches before_

Out of the corner of my eye I see Mr. Shu frown and shake his head at Santana's language, but he lets it slide. I turn my attention back to the lovely girl on stage, my eyes following her every motion.

_Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember_

_I will love you 'til the end of time_

_I stayed up waitin', anticipatin', and pacin'_

_But he was chasing paper_

_"Caught up in the game" ‒ that was the last I heard_

_You went out every night_

_And baby that's alright_

_I told you that no matter what you did I'd be by your side_

_Cause Imma ride or die_

_Whether you fail or fly_

_Well shit at least you tried._

_But when you walked out that door, a piece of me died_

_I told you I wanted more-but that's not what I had in mind_

Then I begin to cry without even wanting to. She was singing to me, she was coaxing out my guilt and she knew it. She knew me too well.

_I just want it like before_

_We were dancing all night_

_Then they took you away-stole you out of my life_

_You just need to remember..._

_I will love you 'til the end of time_

_I would wait a million years_

_Promise you'll remember that you're mine_

_Baby can you see through the tears_

_Love you more_

_Than those bitches before_

_Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember_

_I will love you 'til the end of time_

I don't even clap when everyone else does, because I'm waiting and watching for Santana to look at me. When she doesn't, my heart sinks down in my chest. I want to talk to her so bad, but I don't even have her phone number to call her and I don't have any idea of where she lives. Santana Lopez swept me off my feet and didn't leave a trace.

Mr. Shu congratulates Santana on a job well done and then looks around for another volunteer. "Hmm," he contemplates, "Who is going next? Oh, okay, Rachel."

Rachel gets up and starts singing some Barbra Streisand song, but I'm in another universe. How am I going to get Santana back? We haven't spoken in so long, is she still angry? I've missed her so much, and obviously she's missed me too because she's basically slapping me in the face with an invitation to talk. I have to win her over with a song… I had one in mind but that flew out the window when Santana's eyes met mine. I let a few other glee kids go before I do; Kurt, Artie, and Rachel (yes, a second time). When Mr. Shu asks for last calls, I raise my hand confidently.

"Alright, Tina. You're up," he says tiredly, and I walk up the stairs trying to calm myself down and look cool. My heart is pounding, though, and I'll probably start stuttering like a madwoman. Alas, I get up on the stage anyway and prepare to meet my fate.

"I'll be s-s-singing Panic! At The Disco's "N-Nine in the Afternoon"" I say, and then cue Brad to begin playing. Immediately my senses are flooded with the playful melody of the tune, and I grab the microphone and dance around the stage, looking right into Santana's wide eyes.

_B-b-back to the street where we began_

_Feeling as good as lovers can, you know_

_Yeah we're feeling so good_

_Pickin' up things we shouldn't read_

_It looks like the end of history as we know_

_It's just the end of the world_

_Back to the street where we began_

_Feeling as good as love, you could, you can_

_Into a place where thoughts can bloom_

_Into a room where it's nine in the afternoon_

_And we know that it could be_

_And we know that it should_

_And you know that you feel it too_

_'Cause it's nine in the afternoon_

_And your eyes are the size of the moon_

_You could 'cause you can so you do_

_We're feeling so good_

_Just the way that we do_

_When it's nine in the afternoon_

My eyes are focused on Santana during the entire performance. I want her to know that this is for her.

_Your eyes are the size of the moon_

_You could 'cause you can so you do_

_We're feeling so good_

_Back to the street_

_Down to our feet_

_Losing the feeling of feeling unique_

_Do you know what I mean?_

_Back to the place_

_Where we used to say_

_Man it feels good to feel this way_

_Now I know what I mean_

_Back to the street, back to the place,_

_Back to the room where it all began, hey_

_Back to the room where it all began_

_'Cause it's nine in the afternoon_

I hang on the last note, doing some runs, and then everyone is clapping. Mercedes gives me a thumbs up, and I wink at her. When I begin to go down the stage steps I scan the "crowd" for my muse. She's gone, though, along with Brittany. I feel a prick of sadness in my stomach, but I hold my head up and sit next to Mercedes. The diva smiles and gives me a high five, congratulating me on only stuttering once during the performance.

"T-Thanks, Cedes," I say, and when Mr. Shu dismisses us I walk Mercedes to her car. I think she can tell I'm distracted because she asks me what's wrong.

"Nothing. Just a lot of tests today," I lie convincingly, hoping she'll leave me alone. Thankfully, she takes the bait and begins to talk about all the annoying teachers she has and how she always has far too much homework for the average teenager to handle. I say goodbye as she walks to her car.

"Do you want a ride, T?" she calls to me. I turn around and wave her off with a smile.

"No, it's okay," I shout. "I have my bike here." Mercedes gives me a thumbs up and settles into her compact. I continue to the end of the parking lot until I reach the bike rack. I crouch down and fumble with the lock, eventually I open it and take my black bike out of the slot and begin to wheel it away when I see something taped to the seat. I snatch the piece of paper off my bike and open up the carefully folded note.

_Dear Tina,_

_I hope this is your bike. (If not, then whoever is reading this pass it on to the Asian girl that probably gets all the answers correct in your math class.)_

_I'm sorry. I want to apologize. Meet me at the park at 9 tonight. Just sneak out or something, I trust you have some sort of ancient Chinese secret about doing that._

_Santana_

I smile and hold the note tightly in my hand. She wants to meet up. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time that I speed home, do my homework, and then wait until my parents come home. I suffer through dinner, and then sprint up to my room with the excuse of studying for biology. I then anxiously await the moment when my parents are finally asleep so I can sneak out.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I'm sitting at my computer, listening to Beethoven's 5th Symphony in C Minor and Lana Del Rey, inspired to finally write this long awaited chapter for all of you.

Enjoy.

**A Change of Heart**

**Chapter 8**

The warm, spring air gently tickles my face as I sway idly back and forth on the park swing. My feet are sweeping along the top of the thick, green grass. The vegetation beneath me is making a soft, almost rhythmic swishing sounds. Kind of reminds me of a metronome, and before I think about it I'm humming the tune to "ABC". My humming soon turns into whistling, then actually singing the words. I belt out the chorus; my voice is cutting through the cool night air like a knife.

The park is empty of its patrons, probably because it's way past a child's bedtime. I feel lonelier than ever, but I keep on singing.

The late night sky has been dusted with stars and I feel as though Santana will never show up. I'm imagining her spending the night in lying in her room, listening to music, too angry or scared to venture to the park. It wouldn't be unlike her to lie; she does it all the time. As these thoughts fill my head, I get more and more upset. Why don't I trust her? I want to apologize, but I can't with all these mutinous thoughts bouncing around in my mind. My hands grip the chains of the swing harder, my knuckles are white with frustration and anxiousness. What if she doesn't show? What if I'm making the wrong decision? What if she really doesn't care about me at all?

I really hope I'm making all this up.

I loosen my death grip on the swing when I hear footsteps swishing carefully on dew dropped grass. I slowly turn my head and see Santana standing a ways away from me, her hands tucked into the front pockets of her jeans. I don't know what to do at first, so I look back down at my boots. I hear her cross the mulch topped ground and I look up to see she's taken a seat on the swing next to me. We're not saying anything for the longest time, we're just looking into each other's eyes. It's a strange exchange, both uncomfortable and at the same time familiar.

"I'm sorry," I say, staring further into Santana's brown orbs. "I-I didn't mean t-t-to hurt you. I was just s-scared that you didn't feel the same way I felt about you. I just got j-jealous, I guess."

The Latina swinging beside me lowers her head to face the ground, and I'm confused. Isn't this the part where she apologizes too? And then we'll kiss and live happily ever after.

"Why won't you l-l-look at me!" I finally shout after a long period of silence. "You wanted me to c-c-come here. What do you have to s-s-s-say?" I feel a rouge tear roll down my cheek. Why won't she say anything?

"Look at me, S-S-Santana!" I get up from the swing and stand in front of her, my hands tightly clenched into fists. "I'm s-s-standing here, telling you I'm s-sorry, asking for forgiveness! Isn't that enough for - "

Santana's chocolate eyes turn to mine, and I see softness in those brown orbs that I've never witnessed before. Her lips part slightly, as if she wants to say something, but then she purses them and stands up. I move back a step, a bit fearful of what she will do. Santana rolls her eyes and moves closer to me, taking my hands in hers. The tears are coming down my cheeks without permission, running black tracks of ruined mascara behind them. With a tiny smirk, Santana brushes my tears away with a gentle touch. Her hand stops on my cheek, and she feels the soft skin of my face beneath her thumb. The Latina's warm, brown eyes meet mine, and I see her tear up too.

Within an instant, Santana's lips unexpectedly crash against mine, and the Latina holds me close in a warm embrace. Her soft lips tenderly pull on mine, and I can't imagine breaking away so I press my lips harder into hers. The kiss isn't hungry or frantic like our others; it's patient and understanding.

I decide it's time to break the kiss, and when I pull away I see Santana in tears. Concerned, I embrace her. She tugs gently on the ends of my hair, and then smooths it down again. With a sigh, she nestles her head into the crook of my neck.

"I'm sorry too," she whispers into my ear, and I can feel her tears wet against my skin. "I was being stupid and irrational." I shake my head and hold Santana out at arms length.

"No, I should be the one apologizing," I admit, my eyes glued to hers. "I don't deserve to know anything about your p-p-past relationships and what not." Santana laughs loudly and flashes me a smug grin.

"What?"

"Who the hell says 'what not' anymore?" I smirk and playfully push her backwards, and Santana pretends to fall on the ground. When I offer my arm to her, she gladly takes it and I lean up against her as we walk. I don't know where we're going, exactly, but I honestly don't give a damn. The only thing I'm concerned with is the lovely girl on my arm.

o o o

I wake up to my cell phone beeping. At first I assume it's a text and ignore it, but the continuous beeping leads me to believe otherwise. I bury my head into a fluffy pillow in an attempt to drown out the sound, and soon I doze off. I'm dreaming about kittens sliding down rainbows when I hear the invasive beeping again. With a groan, I smack my hand on the nightstand next to the bed in a blind search for my phone. I feel my fingers glide over a smooth surface, so I grasp the object and slide my thumb over the touch screen.

"Speak," I grunt into the receiver, turning over onto my back.

_"Hey babe, you know we have school today, right?"_

I look at the clock and I suddenly remember it's Friday morning. "Yeah, I'm getting ready right now. W-w-why are you asking?" I throw the covers off my legs and hurry across the hall to the bathroom. I almost trip and fall, but I make it to the sink and put the phone on speaker. I rest the cell on the counter, and then hastily take a brush to my knotty hair.

_"Well then hurry up and come out. We've got twenty minutes until first bell rings,"_ Santana says, and I pause mid comb.

"What d-do you mean, come out?" I say, and then lean over to look out the bathroom window. Santana's silver Volvo is parked outside my house, and I see her with a phone held to her ear. "You're outside my house?"

Santana laughs. _"Do you want a ride or not? I'm not waiting for your lazy ass all morning."_ I pout, but quickly squeeze a bit of toothpaste onto my toothbrush.

"Give me five minutes," I tell her, and hang up the phone. I rush to my room and pull a grey sweater over my head. After jumping into a pair of jeans and lacing up my boots, I grab my backpack and run down the stairs three at a time. As my hand touches the doorknob I call out behind me. "Have a g-g-good day!" I shout to my parents. I don't wait for their replies, but instead I carefully close the front door (my parents hate when I slam it) and walk to Santana's car without looking too excited. I can't help but smile when I see her waving fingers at me. I open her car door and climb inside, immediately met with a quick kiss on my cheek.

"Overslept, much?" she jests, turning the key and starting the engine. "I knew you were going to miss school today."

"I was wondering why you came to my house and woke me up at a-an unreasonable hour."

"7 o'clock isn't unreasonable," Santana says, rolling her eyes. "You need to get up and go to school _on time_." I smile and gaze out at the world flying by the passenger side window.

"I'd just rather go to s-s-school a little later on Fridays," I joke, earning a glare from the beautiful girl sitting next to me. "Ok, ok, I don't _actually_ do that. I was just a little tired."

"Tired?" she repeats. "What were you doing that was so tiring?"

"Don't laugh… I w-w-was watching the Warehouse 13 marathon that was on last night. It went on until, like, 2 am." Santana laughs as she turns the steering wheel.

"_Warehouse 13?_ Really, Tina?" the Latina snorts, a firm grasp on the wheel. "Well, I _do _like my girls dorky." I scoff at her observation.

"It's a good s-s-show!" I laugh, raising my eyebrows. "You have to give it a chance before you judge." Santana pulls the silver Volvo into the back parking lot of the school. She shuts the engine off before leaning over the console. I meet her halfway, our lips pressed together. Before I can do anything else Santana pulls back with an apologetic frown. I nod in understanding and give her hand a quick squeeze before getting out of the car.

"See you at glee club," she says before I close the door. I nod to her and sling my backpack over my shoulder, heading to the building's entrance.

The day ticks by slowly, but when the final bell of the week rings, it sounds to me more like an angel choir. I scoop up my books and walk to the choir room with Kurt, more than excited to get to the glee club rehearsal.

"Are you interested in hanging out at the mall this weekend?" Kurt asks, and I can tell he probably wants me to go shopping. I don't want to blow him off, but I'm hoping that I'll get a better offer from Santana.

I shrug. "My parents might be d-dragging me somewhere… I'll have to get back to you on that." Kurt nods and smiles.

"Sure, sure. If not, I could always invite Blaine," he says excitedly. We both take our seats in the choir room, and I make sure to give Santana a small smile. I see her grin and look at the floor. When I sit down, Rachel Berry immediately flies up to the front of the room and introduces some ballad that signifies some sort of element in glee club that I don't really care about. I'm just waiting for the weekend.

"Alright, with school winding down, we'll only have glee club once a week instead of twice." The whole room cheers with joy. We only have a month left of school, and with the end of the school year comes summer parties and late nights out. For me, it's unlimited time to spend time with Santana.

I'm walking home from school (I don't have my bike since Santana drove me in) when I get a text from Santana.

**Santana: wanna catch a movie tonight? **

I smile and respond to her message as I walk, and I'm trying to avoid tripping on anything as I type.

**Sent: sure! wht time?**

My phone beeps with Santana's reply as I walk in the front door. My mother, who's holding a plate of cookies, greets me as I close the door.

"How was your day?" she asks, and I nod and tell her I had a good day at school. I sit across from my mother at the kitchen table while she sets the cookies down in front of me.

**Santana: how bout you meet me there 8? u can pick the movie.**

"Hey Mom," I say, looking up from my phone. "C-c-can I go out tonight with some friends?" My mother contemplates this for a moment before smiling and nodding.

"Sure. Where and with who?" she asks, and I swallow before answering her.

"The m-movies with… w-with a new girl I met at school," I lie, and it must be convincing because my mother pouts her lips and nods.

"That's great, Tina! You're making new friends! What's this girl's name?"

**Sent: see you there! xox**

"Ana. She's f-f-f-from Conneticut."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8**

I'm sitting in the movie theater, legs crossed, and my hand in the larger-than-socially-acceptable popcorn bucket on Santana's lap. I come out with a handful of the buttery delight, and I'm trying to eat as quietly as I can. I can hear Santana pop a piece of popcorn into her mouth, and I quickly turn my attention back to the movie screen before I get any ideas.

"Why is the ghost attacking them? I don't get it," Santana whispers in my ear. I smile and turn to her in an attempt to explain the plot of _Paranormal Activity_ to her.

"I d-d-don't know… I'm watching this movie for the f-first time," I whisper, trying to pay attention to what's going on. Santana shrieks and grasps my hand tightly when the girl in the movie gets pulled out of bed. I'm a little freaked too, but I love this stuff. I chose this movie to impress Santana, and also knock her down a peg. It's the best idea I've had in weeks.

"Ay, dios mios," Santana sighs, resting a hand on the top of her chest. "That was scary as fuck. Why did you bring me to this?" I giggle quietly and rest my head on her shoulder.

"Because it's funny," I say, and Santana snorts and leans her head down on top of mine. I lace my fingers with hers and breathe out, enjoying her company. I can feel her tense up when the ghost begins to come up the stairs, it's footsteps heavy and menacing. I snuggle up into her more, reassuring her with a touch.

"Oh, oh god. It's gonna eat them… oh god I don't want to watch this anymore," she hisses while nuzzling into my shoulder. "I want to do something more productive." Her breath is hot against my neck as she plants small kisses on the sensitive skin. I shiver involuntarily and try to shake her off.

"Aw, but I really w-w-wanna watch this…" Santana shuts me up with a kiss, and it's a good thing we're sitting in the back row of the theater. I turn my torso so I am facing her, and I hold her chin gently as I deepen the kiss. Santana's full lips are locked on mine, causing my hand to slide up her shirt. She smiles against my lips, and I gently bite her neck as my fingers brush the swell of her breast. I continue to kiss her neck, trying very hard not to give her a hickey.

It's hard when your girlfriend is this hot, though.

"Take it off, _please_," Santana moans against my neck, and she pulls my face up to hers. I suck on her bottom lip and then release it, holding Santana's arms.

"Shh," I hiss, putting a finger to my pursed lips. "P-p-people can hear us. Also, do you really want to get caught with your b-bra in my hand?"

"Fine," she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. "Have it your way." To my chagrin, she pulls out a tube of lip-gloss from her purse and begins to slide it across her lips over and over and over… her lips are extremely shiny and I can smell it's fruity scent from here.

"Sleepover?" I ask, and she smiles.

"Why is that even a question?"

* * *

"Santana, honey, is that you?" I hear someone call from the kitchen. Santana rolls her eyes and leads me to the kitchen, careful to drop my hand as soon as we walk through the door. Santana's kitchen is very cozy, the shelves are lined with spices and little chachkas that seemed to have been collected over the years. The curtains framing the small window above the sink have chickens on them, and on the windowsill there's a picture of Santana and her mother.

"Santana, you brought a friend!" Mrs. Lopez says happily, and she stands up from the table and walks over to hug me. "What is your name, honey?"

"T-T-Tina," I say nervously. "T-T-Tina Cohen-C-C-Chang. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. L-Lopez." I hear Santana sigh behind me, and her mother looks at me funny.

"Speak clearly please. It's not polite to stutter," Mrs. Lopez scolds, and Santana draws in a harsh breath.

"Mami, please," she says, trying to stop her mother.

"I-It's okay, S-S-Santana," I reassure her, and I'm fighting the urge to hold her hand. "I have a s-stutter, Mrs. Lopez." I can see the woman's lips turn into a frown.

"Lo siento, I'm so sorry," she apologized sincerely. After a few seconds of awkward silence, Mrs. Lopez asks if I'll be staying overnight.

"Yeah. We're really tired, Mami. Goodnight." With that, Santana grabs my wrist and pulls me up the stairs and into her room. After shutting the door she turns to me.

"Sorry about that," she apologizes. "My mom is sort of… fresh off the boat, I guess." I nod in acceptance.

"It's f-fine, don't worry about it," I assure her as she rummages through her dresser drawers. "I get that all the time. Some people d-d-don't understand what it is."

"Here, change into this," Santana says and throws me an oversized t-shirt with Amy Winehouse on the front. Trying to be risqué, I slowly shrug off my shirt and pants, waiting to take off my black lacey bra. With an expertly shaped eyebrow perched high above where it should be, Santana looks me up and down.

"Are you going to take that off or what?" she smiles, and I move up so close to her that my breasts touch hers.

"I was waiting f-for you to take off yours," I whisper, skimming the uncovered skin on her hips. She shivers and slides her thumbs underneath my bra straps. My lips crash into hers, which elicits a moan from Santana. I push Santana onto her big white bed and straddle her hips, and I make quick work of her pesky bra. Flinging the unnecessary garment to the floor, I palm her breasts and slide my tongue into her mouth. She tastes like vanilla.

She pushes back on me, her full lips working against mine. In desperate need for friction, Santana unbuttons her jeans and slides them halfway down her legs.

"I need you, now," she whispers in a husky tone. I smile and kiss my way down her neck, between her breasts, and down to her stomach. I trace a finger up her inner thigh, and she's holding my hand and giving me the hurry-the-fuck-up look. With a grin, I push into her and she moans quietly, a pillow on her face so she's not too loud. Her hips buck involuntarily against my hand, and I sneak in a quick kiss before I speed her up. She sits up, trying to get a better angle while she plays with my breasts. I lock lips with her and she falls over the edge, her body shaking in ecstasy.

I lie down beside her and pull the covers over us, and I'm still in the tee she gave me. I wrap my arms around her until she calms down, and then she turns over and smiles devilishly.

"We're not finished yet," she whispers, then hooks her leg around mine and flips me onto my back. With fierceness I've never seen before Santana takes off my shirt and bra, and she's massaging my breasts in an awfully pleasant way.

"Oh my g-god… that feels awesome," I admit to Santana, and I rock my hips against hers in an attempt to match her rhythm. Santana licks the sides of my breasts and twists a nipple until it's hard. I can feel her grip my thighs and gently pull them apart, and then she licks up my thigh until she reaches my mound. Her tongue is in all the sensitive places, and I'm biting my lip to keep from screaming.

"Please hurry up," I plead, my hands twisting Santana's sheets. She's going to have a lot of laundry to do tomorrow.

"Say my name," she whispers, and I stare into her chocolate eyes as she plunges two fingers into me.

"S-S-Santana," I breathe, and she smiles and swipes a thumb over my clit. In an instant, my back arches off the bed and Santana clamps a hand over my mouth as I scream her name over and over. Santana doesn't stop, though, and she keeps fingering me until I ride it out.

I grip her by the hips and pull her down with me, planting quick wet kisses on her throat and between her breasts. She runs a delicate hand down my shoulder and splays her fingers across my back. Santana pulls me closer to her, our chests touching. She bites gently on my bottom lip, and then slides her tongue into my mouth. She glides along my teeth while I grab her toned ass, and we stay like this for a while.

I pull away and rest my head on my arm, taking in her glowing features.

"I'm so glad that we did that," Santana says. "I've been so stressed out lately…"

I nod. "Yeah, m-me too. Even though g-g-glee's basically over, finals are coming up. My p-p-parents are nuts when it comes to academics." Santana nods in agreement and gives me a kiss on the nose.

"Do you want to spoon or something?" she asks with a yawn, and I nod. Sighing lightly, Santana wraps her arms around my waist and pulls the covers over us. I trace circles on her tanned arms, her head resting on my shoulder. I'm pretty sure she's asleep already, so I close my eyes too, and I soon drift off into a dreamless sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I bounce the end of my pen against the open textbook in front of me, bored as hell. I love chemistry, but I've already been through this chapter because I read ahead of the present chapter. Just as I'm wishing the day would be over, I feel my cell buzz in my skirt pocket. Making sure the teacher isn't looking, I slide the device out of my pocket and glance at the message.

**Santana: meet me in the girl's br**

I bite my lip and wonder what she wants. Not wanting to get caught, I glance up at the teacher again as I type a response.

**Sent: now?**

I rest the phone on my lap and wait for Santana's reply. It comes quickly, and I look down to read the message.

**Santana: yes, now! hurry up.**

**Sent: kk xoxoxo**

"Mrs. Sanchez? May I use the restroom?" I ask with my hand raised. The chemistry teacher rolls her eyes and waves me off. I grab my things before she can see me and run out the door. I make my way down the west staircase and head to the girl's bathroom. I push open the door and walk in cautiously, dropping my backpack to the floor. I'm surprised when Santana walks towards me and slams me against the wall, her hips grinding against mine. I press my open mouth to hers, her tongue frantically exploring the insides of my cheeks. I feel her hands creeping up my skirt, and she asks for permission before hooking a finger into the top of my panties.

"Oh wow," I moan. "Is this what you wanted?" Santana presses a finger to my lips, her eyes dark with dirty thoughts.

"Just be quiet," she smirks, and lifts a hand under my shirt to fondle a breast. I clench her face in my hands and our lips crash together, and all I'm thinking about is how she tastes like vanilla. The bell rings, but we never break apart. I really wanted to attend history class, but who needs to learn about the past when your present is this arousing?

My train of thought comes to a screeching halt when Santana plunges a finger into me. She swipes across my clit a few times, and I feel myself getting wet. I fist her shirt in my hands, trying not to make any noise. Santana steals a wet kiss from my lips and licks the shell of my ear.

"Are you enjoying yourself, Tina?" she whispers in a husky voice. "I certainly am."

I bite my bottom lip and nod. "Yes," I mumble with a smile, trying not to stutter. "I am." Her thumb traces circles around my clit, which makes me tense up against the wall. I grope at her skirt, wanting her to take it off. She shakes her head and smiles, kissing down to the swell of my breasts.

"Don't try anything cute, Chang," she says, and licks in between my cleavage.

"Oh my… S-S-Santana," I moan, burying my head in her hair.

"That's right, stutter for me baby," she says softly, and then presses her fingers into me.

"S-S-S-Santana," I moan softly in her ear. "I w-w-w-want you s-s-so bad. So h-h-hurry the f-f-fuck up, darling."

Instantly, I'm over the edge.

Santana smiles and kisses me as I shake, her arms circling around me.

"Wasn't that fun? I've got to go to English now," she says, straightening her mini skirt and walking away. Santana blows me a kiss and then she's gone, leaving me to rearrange myself and hurry to my next class. When I sit down at my desk in history class, Puck turns around and looks at me.

"Where the hell have you been, Chang?" he asks, irritated that he had to endure Mrs. Soloway's lectures alone. He raises an eyebrow and waits for an answer.

"I was in the bathroom," I say, which isn't a complete lie. "Chill o-out, d-d-dude." He sighs and turns back to the front of the room, and I can see him take out a piece of notebook paper and scribble something on it. With a cursory glance around the classroom to make sure the teacher isn't looking, Puck slips me the piece of paper and motions for me to open it.

_I know about you and Lopez. She's not very good at hiding the fact that she's banging somebody. _

I shoot him a look of disbelief. "Are you s-s-serious? You can't tell anyone, Puck," I hiss in his ear, careful not to mention any names. "If you r-r-ruin this, I swear to God I **will** murder you." He puts his hands up in surrender.

"What kind of douche do you think I am? I won't say—"

"Mr. Puckerman, Miss Cohen-Chang? Face front please," the teacher scolds, and Puck turns back forward. When the teacher continues, Puck tilts his head to the side a bit.

"I won't say a word, I promise. You guys are my best friends; I wouldn't out you when you aren't ready." I nod and pat his shoulder.

"T-thanks, Puck."

"No problem, Chang," he smiles, and we bump fists. "Also, if you ever want to take her on a hot date, she loves Breadstix." I smile and nod.

"You don't think I know that? She talks about their b-b-breadsticks all the time." I lean back into my chair and take notes on the teacher's lecture, but all I'm thinking about is taking Santana on a date. It _is_ Friday… and perhaps we could have a sleepover or something. The bell rings and I hurry outside and wait for Santana in the back parking lot. She's been driving me to school for the past week, and my parents are a little curious as to who's silver Volvo is parked outside every morning. Maybe I can convince Santana to meet them.

When I see her she smiles and grabs my hand. We start walking to her car, and I notice she's texting with her free hand.

"Who's t-that?" I ask, innocently curious. She slips her phone into her purse and waves me off.

"Just Quinn. She wanted to know if I was free tonight," she replies.

"Well tell her you're b-b-busy; I'm taking you out t-tonight," I say, and she raises an eyebrow and smiles at me.

"Oh really? Where are we going?" she asks and lets go of my hand so I can get into the car.

"Do you want to go roller-skating?"

Santana bursts out in laughter and then realizes I'm serious. "Oh, um, sure. I hate roller-skating… but I'll go anywhere with you," she laughs, and then leans in for a quick kiss on my cheek. She starts the car and we drive down the road for a bit, we get on the highway and I speak up.

"Would you p-possibly want to meet my p-p-parents?" I ask timidly, hoping for a positive answer. I know Santana is deathly afraid of coming out to anyone, but I want to at least tell my parents. I hate sneaking around. She quickly glances at me but turns her attention back to the road. Her knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel.

"I don't know, Tina. I don't think I'm ready…" she trails off. I sigh and look at the trees whizzing past the passenger side window.

"Please, S-S-Santana? They don't know your mom… and besides, I don't like keeping secrets from them." I touch her shoulder and she looks at me for a quick moment.

"… Ok. I'll meet them," she sighs with a smile, and plants a kiss on the back of my hand. "I have to tell you something, though." I frown, thinking that she'll say something that will break my heart. Santana sees my reaction and immediately apologizes. "No, no, it's not bad. It's just… I don't know how to roller-skate."

I burst out in laughter as we pull into my driveway. "Is t-t-that what you were worried about? My parents are big in on it, so I've been going since I could walk. Don't worry, I'll teach you," I reassure her, unbuckling my seatbelt. "Come back at around 5. And wear jeans; the first time you fall that skirt will turn into a tube top in no time flat." Santana laughs and rolls her eyes.

"Wouldn't you like that." She leans in and locks lips with me; her tongue slides into my mouth. Santana pulls away and smiles. "See you at 5." I grin and step out, waving goodbye as she drives away. I turn back and head into my house, excited for tonight.

I hear a knock at the door and I know its Santana. I smile just at the thought of her being here and I slide down the banister to answer the door.

"Is that her?" my mom calls, and I open the door.

"Y-Yes," I answer, and then turn to Santana. She looks very nervous, but I hug her and bring her inside. "Hey."

"Hey," she responds, stepping inside. "You've got a nice place." I take her hand and lead her into the kitchen and she raises an eyebrow.

"Tina, you didn't tell me you had two moms! I would've been _much_ less worried about this if you would tell me things once in a while," she says, a bit frustrated. "I tried on six different outfits because I thought you had two strict Asian parents that were gonna think I was a little Mexican gold digger that was taking their daughter away!"

"Where'd you think I got the hyphenated name from? I don't look Jewish," I explain, laughing and giving her hand a squeeze.

My moms burst out in laughter. "Hello Santana, Tina's told us so much about you," my mom shakes her hand and winks at me.

"M-Mom!" I shout, embarrassed. Santana smiles at me.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Cohen-Changs," Santana greets my mothers, and my mommy waves from behind the island.

"Won't you girls sit down? Make yourself at home, honey," my mom says, smiling at Santana. I pull out a chair for her and she rolls her eyes with a smile.

"How gentlemen like of you," she jokes. I lightly smack her on the back of the head.

"S-S-Shut up," I tell her, and sit down in the seat beside her.

"Tina! Language!" my mommy scolds, and Santana snorts beside me. Before I can say anything, my mom sets the lasagna on the table and sits down with my mommy.

"So, Santana, Tina tells us you're in the glee club as well." Santana nods.

"I just joined because Tina was in it. Plus, my cheerleading coach wanted me to spy on Mr. Shuster," Santana says, and I smile.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Well, and the fact that Quinn twisted my arm and convinced me that I had a good voice." My mom laughs at that, and I'm glad that she's getting along with my parents.

"So you're a cheerleader?" my mom says. Santana shakes her head.

"Not anymore. I quit because coach tried to fire my best friend out of a cannon." My mothers exchange wary looks and then look back at Santana.

"This lasagna is great! You're fantastic cooks," Santana compliments, and my mommy smiles.

"Are you kidding? She's a horrible cook! The first time she tried to cook for me, we had to break out the fire extinguisher!"

"It was an extremely difficult dish!"

"You were making macaroni and _cheese!_ There are directions on the box!" We all laugh and continue talking about school and glee club. I glance at my watch and notice the time.

"We should get going, S-Santana," I say, and I slide out of my seat and she does the same.

"Thanks, Mrs. Cohen-Changs," Santana says for the fifteenth time tonight. "Have a good evening."

"Have fun, girls!" my mommy calls, and I wave goodbye.

As we walk out the door, Santana shushes me. "I don't want to hear it."

I grin and snuggle up into Santana as we walk to her car.

* * *

"Size 7 b-b-blades, please?" I ask the rental boy. "And size 7 skates for her." The kid nods and goes into the back to retrieve our shoes. He comes back and slams them down on the counter, and I give him the money. He thanks us for our service, and I hand the skates to Santana.

"Why do you get the blades? These looks lame," Santana complains, holding up her roller skates by the laces with her thumb and index finger.

"You can't learn on roller blades, it's too h-h-hard." Santana shrugs and sits down to lace up her skates. In no time we're out on the rink, and I'm holding Santana's hands and skating in front of her.

"Okay, don't t-t-try to walk in them, glide," I tell her, and she huffs in frustration. "Watch my feet," I say, and skate a bit in front of her, then spin back around and hold her hand. She tries to copy what I had done, but she ends up falling on her ass. I try not to laugh as I help her up.

"This is stupid," she says, and I shake my head.

"Come on, that was your f-first time. Keep on trying; you'll be a pro by the end of the night." I snake my arm around her waist and hold her close to my side. After a half hour of cursing and falling down, Santana finally makes it all the way around the rink without my help. I clap and hold her hand, and we skate around together.

"See? It's not so hard, once you get the hang of it," I say, and she smiles at me.

"Don't get too cocky, Chang," she laughs, and then she pulls me over to the wall. She gives me a kiss and looks into my eyes. "Can we take a break? I'm kind of thirsty."

"Yeah, s-s-sure. What do you want?" I ask her as we skate to the snack bar. I let her sit down at a table and I go to get us some milkshakes. The line is a bit long, and there are _a lot_ of people waiting behind me. I skate up to the counter and try to place my order.

"C-C-Can I g-g-get, um," I stutter nervously, and I hear someone behind me groan. "One b-b-blueberry shake and one c-c-c-chocolate?"

"Sorry miss. We're out of chocolate," the woman behind the counter informs me, more interested in her nails than me.

"Oh, um, c-c-can I have—"

"Hey, h-h-h-h-hurry up, w-w-w-will you?" A guy who looks no older than me shouts.

"Miss, your order?"

"Um, yeah, h-h-h-how about—"

"Hurry the f-f-fuck up, chink! I don't have time for this!" I bite my lip and try not to look at the heckler. That would only make it worse. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I relax a tiny bit when I see its Santana. She smiles at me and leans in to whisper in my ear.

"Just relax," she raises her voice to speak to the cashier. "A medium blueberry and I'll have a vanilla." The girl nods and Santana gives her some money as she goes to make our shakes. "Are you okay?" she asks as we move a bit to the side to let others order.

"I'm f-f-f-fine," I reassure her, and I give her a quick kiss on the cheek. She doesn't look convinced, but she knows better than to ask twice. When the girl gives us our shakes, we start to skate back to our table.

"How's your s-s-s-s-s-shake, Stutters? S-S-S-Satisfactory?" Santana stops and glares at the heckler.

"Excuse me, never-hit-pueberty, but I thought I heard you say something to my friend here," Santana glares at the boy, but he just smirks.

"It's just that she took six hours to order. I've got to get food for my girlfriend," he says in a sad excuse to stop Santana from going all Lima Heights on his ass. She raises an eyebrow and steps closer to the kid.

"If you say another word about her I swear to God I will shove my foot so far up your ass—"

"S-S-Santana, he's not worth it," I plead with her to stop, pulling on her arm. Due to the fact that she isn't in complete control of her skates, she rolls with me without wanting to.

"Wow, the little Mexican lesbian gets whipped by her chink girlfriend," the boy taunts, and before I can do anything Santana pulls free from my grasp and skates towards the kid angrily.

"I'm Puerto Rican, you asshole!" she screams, and punches the kid square in the jaw. He falls to the floor with a bloody nose, and his friends rally around him to assess the damage. Santana takes my hand and leads me to a table, and I'm laughing hysterically.

"Are you ok?" she asks, genuinely concerned. I nod and take her hand.

"Yes, I'm f-f-fine," I tell her. "That was awesome, you p-p-punched him so hard!"

"What can I say? I like being your knight in shining armor," Santana shrugs. Before she can say something else, a crackle comes onto the loudspeaker and the MC announces a couples skate. Santana's eyes light up and she grabs my hand.

"Get your ass up, Chang. We're going skating," she says, but she looses her balance and falls. I laugh and pick her up off the floor, then lead her to the rink. The lights have been dimmed, and they've put the disco ball on. I'm humming along to the song, "You Should Be Dancing" and Santana spins me around before gripping my arm so she doesn't fall. I give her a peck on the cheek and she lights up.

"I swear, if you let go of me I will hurt you," she warns me, and I laugh.

"I will never let you go, S-S-Santana."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Santana and I are lying out in my backyard, tanning. From the first day of summer she's had an amazing tan, but I just keep getting whiter. Santana constantly reassures me that the more time I spend outside, the tanner I'll be.

I have to say, summer is an amazing time of the year. Not only is school out for three months, but I also get to see Santana in a bikini. Today, she's got on a red one with white polka dots. Her big, white-rimmed Jackie O's cover most of her face, and her full lips are gleaming with lip-gloss.

"Tina, can you get my back?" she asks, holding out the bottle of suntan lotion. I smile devilishly and nod. "Thanks honey." I squirt some lotion on my hand and begin to work it into her back. I can hear her sigh and I kiss her on the neck as I rub the white lotion all over her back. When I've gotten her whole back, she turns around and kisses me. I grab her back and pull her closer to me, eager for her touch. My tongue slides into her mouth and she tilts her head a bit, her breast flat against mine. We break away for air and we sit back down, but she moves her lounge chair closer to mine. With a grin, I lace my fingers with hers and slide my Ray-Bans on my nose.

"You're getting a nice tan," Santana says, and I smile.

"Really, you t-t-think so?" I say in disbelief. She nods and smirks.

"You're cute, you know that?"

I smile and close my eyes. "Of course I do." After a few minutes of silence, I hear Santana's chair squeak and then I feel her slide onto my chair. I open my eyes, and she's climbing onto my hips.

"Well, I just wanted you to be aware," she sighs, and then leans down to kiss me. She hungrily locks lips with me, her strong mouth working against mine. My fingers slide underneath her top and I rub her nipples until they're hard. I hook my leg around hers and deepen the kiss, pulling my hand out of her top to put them on her hips. She pulls away and runs a hand through her hair, and then comes back down. My hips move against hers, and she plants wet kisses down my neck and then back up to my lips. I bite softly on her bottom lip, enjoying her touch. I pull away and Santana sits up on the end of my chair, one arm anchored over my legs to support herself.

"There's a party going on tonight at Q's house," she tells me quietly. "Everyone's going to be there. Would you want to come with me?"

I'm shocked. We've been trying to keep our relationship a secret, and that includes not going to social events as an item. I cross my arms and purse my lips, unsure if this is an invitation to be official and public.

"You want p-people to see us together?" I ask slowly, and she bites her bottom lip. I can tell she's searching for the right words. Her hand slides down my leg and back up to rest on my knee. I sit up, legs crossed and hands behind me.

"I don't know… I still don't want to come out just yet," she explains, and I sigh. "But I really want you to come with me."

"Why is t-t-that?" I ask, a little confused. I wish she could stop being so afraid to accept that she's gay, but I know that it's hard. I've been dealing with it for a long time; I know it's difficult.

"Because I hate when guys are all over me," she says reluctantly. "If you're there… maybe they'll leave me alone."

"So you only w-w-want me to go places with you when you n-need a bodyguard?" I reply angrily. Why does she have to be so difficult? She shakes her head vehemently and grabs my hand.

"It's not just that… I honestly want you to be there with me," she tells me.

"But you d-d-don't want me to be your girlfriend, S-S-Santana," I shout in frustration. "Go by yourself; Brittany will be there." Immediately regretting what I've said, but too prideful to take it back, I grab my towel and start walking towards the back door of the house.

"Tina, Tina come back," she pleads, but I'm too angry to hear her. "C'mon, don't be like that."

"Go home, S-S-S-Santana," I say, and slam the door on my girlfriend.

It isn't until about 11:30 that night that my phone rings. Santana's name comes up on the screen, and I look at the picture of us and answer her call. I can hear people yelling and music playing in the background.

"S-S-Santana?" I ask, and I hear laughter on the other end. "S-S-Santana, are you there?" I hear more drunken giggling and then shushing.

"Shhhh it's my girlfriend," I hear Santana say. "Heyyyy babe. I just wanted to… to tell you that I LOVE you!" I roll my eyes and run a hand through my hair.

"S-Santana, please tell me you're n-not drunk."

"Well, my dear, that would be lying… which I'm actually really good at," Santana says, and I can hear Brittany laughing on the other end. Trying not to focus on that, I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"I'm picking you up; don't you dare drive," I tell her, and she laughs. "I'm serious. Stay there, I'm coming now." I hang up and hope she does what I've told her. I run downstairs where my mom is watching a movie, she looks at me with concern.

"Mom, I n-n-need your c-car," I tell her. "Please, it's an e-emergency." My mom frowns and runs a hand through her long brown hair before nodding.

"Tina, I trust you. Please don't make me regret this decision," she explains, and I nod vehemently.

"Yes, yes, I'll be g-g-good. Please give me the k-k-keys." She fishes around in her pockets and then throws her key ring at me.

"If you're going to Santana's house to fool around, I swear Tina –"

"MOM!" I shout. "S-S-Stop! I need to go," I say, and hurry out the door. I unlock the driver's side door of my mom's SUV and climb inside. My hands are shaky when I try to start the engine, so I wait for a bit until I calm down.

What will I say to Santana? I feel bad about what I said this morning, but she was trying my patience. I feel like she just wanted me there to make out with me. She could do that with anyone; even with guys. But I know best that she hates men.

With a sigh, I start the engine and back out of the driveway. It isn't long before I get to Quinn's house, and I see a bunch of upperclassmen out on the front lawn. I can see a few of them have red solo cups in their hands, and I hope the cops catch them. That is, after I get Santana out of there. I get out of the car and walk up to the house, and I push my way through the throngs of people blocking the hallways until I get to the den. Santana, Brittany, and Quinn are all sitting on the couch, cackling like madwomen. Santana's big brown eyes catch mine, and she smiles at me like a dork.

"Tinnnna! You're here!" she shouts, running to me and embracing me. She plants a sloppy kiss on my mouth and laughs. "Hey pretty lady."

"C'mon S-San. Let's go home," I say and loop my arm around her waist. Santana shakes her head.

"Not without Britt," she says quietly, like she's telling me a secret. Against every fiber of my being telling me no, I motion for Brittany to come over. She and Santana link pinkies and we walk out together. They get into the backseat of my car and I pull out of Quinn's driveway and head to Brittany's house. I can hear them giggling in the back, and I reposition the rearview mirror to see what they're doing. I can see Brittany touching Santana's arm and whispering something in her ear. I keep my eyes on the road and try not to think about them. I turn onto Brittany's street when I look up into the mirror and see Brittany's legs on top of Santana's. I swerve the car a bit, which disorients the blonde and she gets her paws off my girlfriend. Satisfied, I pull into her driveway and take the child lock off her door.

"Have a good night, Brittany," I say, and I'm proud that I managed not to stutter. I turn around and glare at her until she actually attempts to leave.

"Bye Sannie. See you later," she says reluctantly, and then slams the car door shut. I watch her to make sure she gets into her house before I pull out the driveway and head to my house. Even though I'm infuriated with her, I'm not leaving Santana to the mercy of her mother. I don't hear Santana say anything until I look up at the mirror and realize she's asleep. I have to admit, she looks adorable when she's sleeping, but then I remember her letting Brittany touch her and I shake those thoughts out of her head. When we get to my house, I get out and shake Santana awake. She looks out at me from behind her long lashes and she smiles.

"Hey babe," she says, and I roll my eyes and take her hand. I snake my arm around her waist to support her as I close the car door and walk up the path to the front door. When I get inside my mom is waiting for me, and she looks like she's ready to scream when she sees Santana. I hold up a finger for her to stop.

"C-C-Can we talk about this tomorrow?" She nods and walks up to her bedroom. After I hear my mom close her door, I get Santana up the stairs and into my room. I tell her to lie down on my bed and I pull a sheet over her. She's soon fast asleep, and so I grab one of the extra pillows and a blanket, then turn off the light and close the door. I head downstairs and throw the pillow on the couch, too angry to fall asleep. I turn on the TV and watch a few episodes of _Being Human_ before my I feel myself drift off to sleep.

I wake up at around 6 to a sizzling pan. I open my eyes and groan when I see it's my mom. She's going to ream me out for bringing home a drunk, and being that drunks' girlfriend. I sigh and sit down at the kitchen table, waiting for her lecture about responsible people and stupid people.

"I could yell at you," my mom says in a soft voice as she flips a pancake. "I could scream at you until I turn blue, but I don't think you would benefit from that." I bite my lip and play idly with the tablecloth. "Also, your mommy is the one that screams. But really, I know you're a good girl. I just don't think your chica up there is." My mom slides a plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of me, and I take one and put it on my plate. Wondering for a brief moment if they're guilt pancakes, I decide I don't care and pile on the syrup.

"M-Mom, I know it looks bad," I begin, hoping my mom will understand.

"It looks _horrible_," she responds, a hand on her hip.

"Ok, it looks h-h-horrible, but she's a good person, I promise," I vouch, and I hope it's not in vain. I'm a little less annoyed at my girlfriend, but she still needs to apologize. "She just makes bad decisions when s-s-she's angry."

My mom sits at the table with me, taking a pancake for herself. My mommy hates chocolate chip pancakes, so when mommy was at work, mom would make them for the two of us. It's our little thing that makes us seem as though we're biologically related. She stuffs a huge bite of the puffy batter into her mouth and looks at me with her piercing blue eyes. Terrible under pressure (which she knows very well) I crack.

"I yelled at her y-y-yesterday because she wanted me to g-go to that party with her, but s-s-she didn't want us to be, you know," I say, waving my hands in hopes that my mom knows what I'm talking about. "Out, I think is what I'm t-t-trying to say. She's terrified of telling anyone about us. It was a m-m-miracle that she met you and mommy without too much Asian p-p-persuasion."

"Well, do you want to be public?" my mom asks between bites. "Have you asked her about it?"

"I don't care what people think; she does. A little too much, if you ask me."

"Maybe she'll turn around one day. I had to convince your mother on a number of occasions to make us official," my mom explains. I raise an eyebrow, effectively curious.

"How long did s-s-she wait?"

"Two years. But it was worth it, and we started living together. A year later, we adopted you. We've had our own little happy family since then." I'm not sure how that would help in my situation, and my mom sees my expression and laughs.

"If she doesn't want to be with you, then she's not worth it, honey," my mom says, rubbing my arm. "You'll find someone, someday."

"I don't want s-s-someone, Mom," I reply, a bit frustrated. "I want S-S-S-Santana." My mom smiles and hooks a piece of hair behind my ear lovingly.

"You've always had trouble with your S's, Tina," she says, and I'm about to ask her what the hell that's supposed to mean when I hear someone coming down the steps. I turn around in my chair to see Santana, her hair ruffled up and her hand overshadowing her eyes. In summary, she looks like shit.

"Ay, dios mios," she groans when she sees me. "I'm at your house? How did I get here?" My mom frowns and pats me on the shoulder.

"You can handle this one. I'm going to hold off your mommy so she doesn't know." I'm thankful that my mom is so cool about everything, and as she walks back upstairs, Santana sits down next to me.

"Why am I at your house? Did you take me home?" Santana asks and she rests her head on her arm. I shake my head and frown, trying not to yell.

"You drunk d-d-dialed me last night, and I took you and Brittany home," I tell her, memories of Brittany and her in the backseat popping up in my mind. "I couldn't let you go home drunk to your m-m-mother, so I brought you here." I stand up and retrieve a plate from the cupboard and rest it in front of Santana along with a fork. She nods her head and gingerly takes a pancake, and I can see her mentally counting calories.

"Thanks. I was with Brittany?" I nod. "We haven't spoken in weeks… after our fight. I guess alcohol works wonders," she jokes, trying to lighten the mood. I'm not having it.

"Apparently, because you let her f-f-fondle you in the backseat of my mom's 4 Runner," I spit angrily, and the pancake piece she's about to put in her mouth drops back onto her plate. She places her fork down on the table and grips the tabletop.

"_What?_" she says in disbelief. She pinches the bridge of her nose and groans. I tap my foot on the tiled floor, impatiently waiting for a good answer.

"Tina, I'm… I'm sorry I let that happen," she says slowly, still trying to figure out the right thing to say. "I don't like Brittany, I like you. I wish you could see that."

"I know you don't like her. But the f-fact that you let her use you time and t-t-time again," I begin, finally looking into her beautiful brown eyes. "S-S-Santana, I just wish you would let me l-l-love you."

"Tina, we've talked about this…"

"Yes, and I want a d-d-different answer this time!" I hiss, trying not to cry. "We've been together for four months, S-S-S-Santana. Don't you t-t-think it's t-t-time to tell your poor mother? I f-feel so horrible sneaking around when she's home; I'm defiling her daughter without even asking p-p-permission!"

"I don't need this right now!" Santana shouts. "Do you know what I have to deal with? My mother has plans for me to marry a handsome Puerto Rican man and have a billion babies! You have two gay, accepting, loving parents! I have to hide…" Santana stops and takes a few hysterical breaths. "To hide my real self from my own mother! Do you understand how easy it would be to just be with a guy?"

"But you wouldn't be happy, S-S-S-Santana—"

"Stop stuttering! I can't _fucking_ understand a goddamn word you're saying!" she shouts, and immediately clamps a hand over her mouth. "Tina, I'm so sorry."

"Get the hell out, S-S-S-Santana! Get out of my house!" I scream, and she's backing away and towards the door.

"Tina, I didn't mean—"

"You know w-w-w-what you meant! Do you t-t-think I like stuttering?" I scream at her, throwing my hands to my sides. Tears are threatening to run down my cheeks and I swear my vision is tinted red. "I c-c-can't even say your g-g-godamn _name_ without s-s-stuttering! Do you know how embarrassing that is?"

"I'm sorry."

"I DON'T CARE! I t-t-t-thought you were different, S-S-S-S-Santana. I thought you w-w-would be happy with me." She frowns and opens the door, taking one last look at me.

"Get _out!_" I screech, not caring if my mommies can hear me. She steps outside and I slam the door behind her. When I see her walk away, I slide down with my back on the door and let the tears flow. It's not long before my mothers run downstairs and pull me into a hug, my mommy whispering soothing words into my ear.

* * *

_Good lord, that was amazing to write. I feel like it was a valid argument (for once), don't you think? It's hard to read, but they'll find they're way back to each other, don't worry._


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Over the summer, Santana's tried to call me hundreds of time to apologize. I've always let it go to voicemail, and I listen to her cry over me on the answering machine. A small part of me always wants to pick up the receiver and tell her I love her too, but I'm just too damn tired of her shit.

Over the summer, I met a cute guy at the Hot Topic in the Lima Mall. His name is Peter, and he's a tall, dark, hot piece of ass. We've been seeing each other since the middle of August, and he's a pretty great guy. He's a junior as well, and he wants to be an artist when he grows up. I've been spending a lot of time with him, and I only think about Santana once a day now.

Over the summer, I haven't gotten over Santana, but I'm going to try…

**OCTOBER**

It's the first week of October, and everything's pretty good so far. I got into all the classes I wanted, and I even have a class with Peter. I haven't seen her at all, and I'm hoping it will stay that way. The final bell rings and I make my way out of the classroom to get to my locker. I turn down the hallway and get to my locker, fumbling with the combination to get it open. I finally crack the code and get the necessary items from the metal box and shut it, ready to find Peter. I shut my locker and gasp involuntarily when I see Santana leaning against the lockers, looking at me.

"Hi. I've been trying to find you—" I don't even wait for her to finish before I turn and walk away. I hear her run to catch up with me, which makes me walk faster. She grabs my shoulder and turns me around, and I'm tired of avoiding her. I notice that she's got her old cheerleading uniform on, but I don't mention it.

"What the f-f-fuck do you want?" I ask angrily, wanting to leave.

"How are you?" she asks politely, her warm brown eyes making me feel guilty.

"Why do you care?" I spit angrily. I whirl around when I feel someone touch my shoulder, but smile when I realize it's Peter.

"Hey babe. Who's this?" he asks innocently, leaning down to give me a quick kiss. I can see Santana's face contort with disgust, so I slide my tongue into his mouth and then release him. He smiles at me and I wink, taking his hand in mine.

"Nobody. Let's go," I lie, trying to get him away from Santana.

"Tina, wait," she calls, but I'm deaf to her pleas. I pull Peter along with me, dragging him to the parking lot. He stops me and walks in front of me, holding my shoulders.

"Tina, that wasn't nobody," he infers, and I shrug. "Who was she to you?"

"She's my ex. We got into a fight… I haven't spoken to her in months," I reveal with a frown, and without wanting to a tear runs down my cheek. With a smile, Peter wipes it away with a gentle hand and leans down to kiss me. His big hands feel good on my skin, and I grab at his chest before realizing that he's not… her. I link my hands around his back and let his tongue explore my mouth.

"Was it that bad of a split? She seemed really upset… and like she wanted to talk to you," he says, looking into my eyes with a piercing green gaze. "Are you ok?"

"Pete, I don't want to t-t-talk about this," I tell him, and he presses his lips together and nods. "It hurts too much." I walk him to his car and give him a kiss goodbye. I wave until he leaves, and then I walk over to the bike rack to get my trusty old Raleigh mountain climber. When I bend down to unlock the bike I see a note stuck to the spokes of the wheel. I see my name written in bubbly handwriting, and I don't even read it because I know whom it's from. I get my bike from the rack and head home, throwing the note in the woods before I break down and read it.

**DECEMBER**

I wake up to my phone ringing with a ringtone that Pete recorded so I know it's him calling. It's him telling me to pick up the phone, so I comply with his request and answer the call.

"Hey handsome," I say, smiling ear to ear.

"Hey beautiful. Would you be interested in going out for breakfast with my parents?" I worry my bottom lip for a moment before nodding.

"Sure. What time?" I ask, throwing the covers off my legs and going to the closet to pick out my outfit. Since I started junior year, I've ditched the gothic look and gone for a girlier look. I hold a nice blue dress with big white polka dots up to my body, trying to see if I want to wear it.

"Twelve. Make sure you look pretty," he jokes, and I snort.

"I'll try. I mean, you w-w-woke me up at the retched hour of 8 am…" I hear him laugh on the other end.

"So I'll see you then? The town diner," he says, and I assure him that I won't stand him up. He hangs up and I call to my mothers downstairs.

"Mom, Mommy, I'm going out with Pete at twelve!"

"Ok," they call back in unison. I shut the door and take off my pajamas and turn on the shower. I wait for the hot water, then step in and let the warm water run over my body. I lather the vanilla scented shampoo in my hair, reveling in the smell. It's the one pleasure I allow myself, the one thing to remember her by. I still have dreams about her from time to time. She's stopped calling now; I haven't seen her since October. Sometimes I think about apologizing, I think about going into the woods and finding that note I never read.

I step out of the shower and dry myself off, and I walk over to my closet and take the blue dress off the hanger. I quickly get dressed and brush my teeth, dry my hair, and put on make up. When I'm done, it's just about time to meet Peter. I grab my purse and throw in some tubes of lip-gloss and my phone, slide into a coat, and then I go downstairs and say goodbye to my mothers. I take the keys to the 4 Runner and step out into the cold morning air. It's almost Christmas, and the world is covered in a thin layer of white. The fresh snow crunches beneath my feet as I walk to the car. I start the engine with a bit of difficulty, but I manage to get to the diner without the car dying on me.

I step out and see Peter waiting for me outside. I smile and stand on my toes to give him a quick, familiar peck on the lips. He's wearing the scarf I bought him for Christmas as well as a pair of 180's.

"Hey, let's go inside. It's freezing out here," he says, making a "burr" sound for my amusement. He holds the door open for me and I step inside the small diner. I see his parents sitting at a table and wave. Pete's parents love me; I get good grades and Pete's never home later than curfew.

"Hi Mrs. Samson, Mr. Samson," I greet them, giving his father a firm handshake.

"Hello Tina. How are you, dear?" his father asks me, and I smile.

"Just fine, sir," I assure him, and Pete takes off my coat and sets it on my chair. The breakfast lasts for about an hour, and then they have to go, since it's Christmas Eve. Peter kisses me goodbye and I'm left to my own devices. I walk around downtown Lima for a while until I get bored and head back to my car. When I get home, there aren't any cars in the driveway. Seeing this as the perfect opportunity to play video games all day, I shut off the car and run up the steps. I stop when I see a carefully wrapped present on the welcome mat. Curious, I take it in my hands and shake it. Even more curious, I get inside and throw my coat on the couch. I set the present down on the kitchen table and stare at it.

Is it from Peter, or is it from her? I can't decide what to do. In the end, I find myself ripping the wrapping paper off the box and opening it up. Inside, there is a pair of mittens and a hat with cat ears sewed on the top. Under the gifts is an envelope addressed to me, and I'm hesitant to open it. Now I definitely know it's from her, but it is Christmas…

_Dear Tina,_

_I'm so lost without you. I think about you every day, and every night I dream about you. I regret what I said every day, and every time I see you in the halls my heart breaks because I know I hurt you. No matter how angry I was, I should have never said the things I did. I quit glee club because I couldn't bear to be in the same room with you and not want to hold you and apologize. I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you. I love you, Tina Lucy Cohen-Chang. I love you so much it hurts._

_Merry Christmas,_

_Santana_

I walk myself up into my room and collapse on my bed, and I cry until I have no tears left to shed. I fall asleep with her note clenched in my hand, and I wish life wasn't so hard.

**JANUARY**

I kiss Peter when the clock strikes midnight, but I find myself wanting him to be her.

**FEBRUARY**

Peter takes me out for Valentine's Day, and I accept his chocolates and flowers with a genuine smile. I consider sliding a valentine into her locker, but I don't.

**MARCH**

Peter and I are sitting in a movie theater, watching _Wrath of the Titans._ Pete's obsessed with Greek mythology, so we've seen this movie about five times. He's not interested in the movie this time, though. He's paying close attention to my neck, and my breasts, and he's got a frantic way of kissing me tonight. As he plants kisses down my neck, he whispers in my ear.

"Do you want to go home?" he asks, and I frown.

"Why w-w-would I want to go home?" I say, completely oblivious. He raises an eyebrow and leans it.

"So we can… you know," he says softly, his face getting a bit red. "I mean, only if you want…"

I want to have sex with him, but I feel like something is holding me back. But his lips feel so good against the tops of my breasts, so I nod and whisper into his ear.

"Hurry up," I tell him, and he nods and we run out of the theater and into his car. In a matter of minutes (he lives very close to the theater) we're up in his bedroom, and he tells me his parents are away for the weekend. He closes his bedroom door and takes off his shirt, and I run my hands down his muscular chest. His lips crush against mine and he begins to take off my shirt, his hands shaking a bit. I help him and then unbuckle his belt, pulling his pants down. He grins and holds the back of my head, kissing me passionately. My tongue slides into his mouth, and I feel his hips buck against mine. I take off my jeans and nod for him to go on. My lips lock with his and he thrust into me, and I moan with pleasure. Within a few minutes, he and I are falling off the edge together, and as my orgasm hits me I scream out what I think is his name. My thoughts are too blurry to concentrate, and I kiss him again, but he pushes me off him. Frowning, I see him get off the bed and put his pants back on. I sit up and cover my chest with his sheets, suddenly embarrassed by being naked in front of him.

"What's w-w-wrong?" I ask him, and he scowls at me.

"Who's Santana?" he asks, and my mouth drops.

"W-W-W-What are you talking about, Pete?" I say in disbelief. How did he know about Santana?

"You screamed that instead of my name," he says with a frown. My brow furrows in frustration and embarrassment.

"Pete, I d-d-didn't mean—"

"Tina, I think it's time for you to go," Pete says politely, and I put my clothes back on and walk outside. Before I start to head home, he calls after me.

"Do you need a ride home?"

I shake my head. "No, thank you. See you around, Pete." He shuts the door, leaving me to feel horrible.

**APRIL**

It's been three weeks since the incident. Pete and I have fought over it a lot, and he eventually broke up with me. I was sad for a while, but for some reason I'm relieved. It's also prom tonight, and since I already bought a ticket and a dress, I feel obligated to go. My mommy curled my hair and put it into a messy bun, a few black tendrils hanging down the sides of my face. My mom gave me a pair of earrings she wore to her prom to compliment my satin blue dress. The material reaches just above my knees, which my mom said would get me a new boyfriend. I shrugged off that comment, and I know that my mothers exchanged wary looks.

I walk into the McKinley cafeteria-turned-prehistoric-nightmare with hopes that I will see some of my friends there. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find Puck anywhere, and they make me take a picture alone at the beginning at the night. As if it can't get any worse, I'm forced to talk to Quinn Fabray, queen bitch. When she sees me, her hazel eyes light up and she walks over to me with purpose.

"Tina, I need to tell you something," she says, and I raise an eyebrow.

"W-W-W-What do you want, Quinn?" I ask with a hostile tone.

"It's about Santana… she's going to make up with you."

"What? I can't hear you—" I say, trying to hear what she said. Before she can answer, a voice gets onto the microphone and the whole place gets quiet.

"Hello McKinley," she says, and I turn to see Santana standing on the stage in a beautiful red dress, the microphone held close to her mouth. "I want to dedicate this song to a very special person in my life… if you're here, this is for you, Tina."

_It's been said and done_

_Every beautiful thought's been already sung_

_And I guess right now here's another one_

_So your melody will play on and on, with the best of 'em_

_You are beautiful, like a dream come alive, incredible_

_A sinful, miracle, lyrical_

_You've saved my life again_

_And I want you to know baby_

I can see her eyes scanning the crowd, looking for me. When her eyes find mine, I give her a small wave. She smiles.

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_And I keep hitting re-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_And I keep hitting re-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat_

_Constantly, girl you played through my mind like a symphony_

_There's no way to describe what you do to me_

_You just do to me, what you do_

_And it feels like I've been rescued_

_I've been set free_

_I am hypnotized by your destiny_

_You are magical, lyrical, beautiful_

_You are... And I want you to know baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_And I keep hitting re-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat_

_I, I love you like a (love song baby) love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a (love song baby) love song, baby_

_I, I love you (I love you, I love you) like a love song, baby_

_And I keep hitting re-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat (like a love song)_

_No one compares_

_You stand alone, to every record I own_

_Music to my heart that's what you are_

_A song that goes on and on_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_And I keep hitting re-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat-peat_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I, I love you like a love song, baby_

_I love you...like a love song..._

The crowd cheers and I'm pushing through the throngs of students as I try to get to her. Before she can get off the stage, I run up the stairs and jump into her arms. I can hear everyone cheering, and I feel her return the embrace.

"I told you I would never let you go," I whisper in her ear, and she kisses me before taking my hand and leading me off the stage.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The crowd is cheering with enthusiasm, some of them cat calling, and I'm pushing through the throngs of students to reach Santana. Before she can get off the stage, I run up the stairs and jump into her arms. I can hear everyone cheering, and I feel Santana return the long awaited embrace.

"I told you I would never let you go," I whisper in her ear, and she kisses me before taking my hand and leading me off the stage. Her fingers are interlaced with mine in a familiar way, and when we get back into the crowd Santana kisses me like nothing bad ever happened between us. I pull her into a tight embrace, not wanting to let go.

"I missed you s-s-so much," I whisper into her ear, tears running down my face unhindered. "I missed you so much. I'm sorry for ignoring you and n-n-not letting you apologize."

When she pulls away, Santana has tears in her eyes. "I should be apologizing, Tina. I'm sorry for the things I said; I should've never said that, even if I was hung-over and angry. It was the worst mistake of my life." I wipe away her tears and kiss her again, letting all my hurt and sadness and longing float away with the pounding music. When we break away she hugs me again, and I rub circles on her back.

"So, are w-w-we out now?" I ask, holding Santana's hands in front of me. She nods and laughs.

"Yes, we're out now. I realized that I'd rather have you than be miserable pretending to be straight," she says, and I smile.

"You look beautiful tonight," I tell her, and I'm not lying. Her luscious, long dark hair is curled and pushed over her right shoulder, and the amazing red dress she's wearing hugs her figure in all the right places.

"Thanks. So do you," she replies with a smug grin, and then her gaze momentarily flickers to my wrist. "You didn't come with anyone? What happened to… him?"

I look down at the wood paneled floor and try to find the best way to tell Santana what had happened without upsetting her. She rubs her thumbs over the tops of my hands and waits for my explanation, and I know that she's been waiting for this for a while. Santana wants to hear that he hurt me, that I was the victim.

"It's a long story… Pete and I b-b-broke up," I tell her, and she frowns.

"Are you okay? What did he do?"

I laugh and look up at her; her brown eyes are searching my face for answers. "It was me, a-a-actually. But can this wait until later?" I ask, looping my arms around her neck. "There's a slow song on." Santana laughs and places her soft hands on my hips, pulling me close and resting her chin on my head. We dance together through two songs, and I'm enjoying every minute of it. It's such a relief to be back in her arms, it feels so familiar and relaxing. With a goofy smile, Santana takes my hand over my head and spins me, and out of the corner of my eye I see Peter. Trying to avoid confrontation, I take Santana's hand and try to lead her towards the stage.

"I'm thirsty," I tell her. "Do you w-w-want to get s-s-some punch?"

Santana looks confused. "What's going on?"

I feel a firm hand on my shoulder, and I know it's Peter. I turn around reluctantly and try to put on a brave face, hoping that he just came to say hi.

"Hey," I say in a bubbly tone, and I know they can both hear my voice dripping with the facade. Santana turns around and holds my hand tighter, remembering Peter from when they had met that day in October. He was most likely her worst enemy during those months.

"I thought you wouldn't come with anyone," he says accusingly, looking at Santana. I squeeze her hand and shake my head.

"I didn't. Peter, for the last time, I'm s-s-sorry," I say, and he's not having it.

"Is this Santana?" he asks, and I have no choice but to nod. Santana moves closer to Peter, her hand firmly gripping mine.

"Yes, I'm Santana. Tina's with me, so if you have a problem with her, it's my problem too."

"So this is the famous Santana? Tina talked about you a lot, well, more like screamed for you," Peter says, and I wish he hadn't gone there. He has always been bitter after that night. "You're not as impressive as I thought you'd be."

Santana raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean… you know what? You're not worth it. You're just jealous that Tina chose me over you." Santana pulls me towards the stage to watch our friends in glee club perform "What Makes You Beautiful".

"Don't worry about it, Tina. I don't want to know; we've been through too much already to fight again," Santana whispers in my ear, and I'm thankful. Someday I'll tell her I gave myself to someone else, but not tonight.

"You're an a-a-angel, you know that?" I tell her, and give her a kiss on the cheek.

"Tell me just one more time so it sinks in," she says, and I laugh and lightly push her, turning my attention to the glee boys onstage. The rest of the night is like a dream; I would've never thought this could happen to me. It's like we can start over again, forget everything we said before and just go forward. We take pictures with our friends towards the end of the night, everyone murmuring questions about how we ever got together as they walked away.

After the festivities ends, I walk Santana to her car and she looks at me with a smirk. In an instant, her hands are all over me, and my lips crash into hers like we never left each other's arms.

Santana's hands find mine and I tilt my head to deepen the kiss, and her tongue slides into my mouth and runs over my teeth. She pulls away and looks at me with dark eyes.

"Do you… want to?" she asks slowly, and I answer by throwing open the door of her car and pushing her inside. When the door shuts, Santana is trying to find the zipper of her dress, and I'm desperate to feel her skin on mine.

"L-L-Let me help you with t-t-that," I mumble, taking her dress off with ease. She finds my zipper and I slip out of my dress as well, pressing my body to hers. Our hips fit together like pieces of a puzzle when I go down on her, and her hand cups the back of my neck as I plant kisses down her toned body. Santana catches my hand and frantically places it on her thigh, opening her legs and taking off her panties. I smile and plunge my fingers into her, and within moments she's off the edge. She screams my name and then pulls me down onto the backseat with her.

"I've missed you so much, baby," Santana tells me, and I hug her tighter. A few tears run down my face.

"I will n-n-never let you go, you hear me? Never again. I promise this time." She smiles at that, and I kiss her feverishly until she rides out her orgasm. She sighs in release and then sits up, and I get off her hips and we put our dresses back on. I step out of Santana's Volvo and fix myself before I help her out of the backseat.

"I g-g-guess I'll see you around, S-S-Santana," I say, dropping her hand to walk to my own car.

"Just call me Ana," she calls to me. "It'll save a lot of time." I smile and nod.

"I'll k-keep that in mind, Ana," I say, and she smiles before climbing into her car.

When I get home my mothers are waiting for me, eager to hear about my night. I close the door behind me and smile like a crazy person. They look at each other and then back at me.

"What's got you in such a good mood, smiley?" my mommy asks as I put my purse down on the kitchen table where they're sitting. I laugh for a moment before telling them what happened.

"S-S-Santana and I got back together," I say, and my mom bites her lip.

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Tina."

"Mom, t-t-trust me, I can make my own decisions," I say, my previously good mood immediately plummeting to the ground. "She apologized, and I believe that she's genuinely sorry." I've never told them about the present, or the note. They don't know how sorry she's been, or how much she's wanted to make up.

My mommy sighs before responding. "Well, alright. But if she hurts you again..." she trails off. I nod in silent thanks and smile.

"I'm r-r-really tired, see you in the morning." I lean down and kiss my mothers on their cheeks and head up to my room, too tired to even take off my dress before collapsing onto my bed.

* * *

"This week," Mr. Shue announces with charisma. "Is Whitney tribute week, so you'll all be allowed to choose songs written by the late Ms. Huston." Mercedes and Kurt high five each other, Rachel smiles smugly, and Santana jumps up and down next to me.

"Are you kidding? Whitney Huston?" she squeals, squeezing my hand in a death grip. "We have _got_ to do a number together." I smile and laugh.

"Obviously. We have, like, the b-b-best voices in glee club," I exclaim, and she kisses me on the cheek before Mr. Shue settles us down.

"Ok, ok guys, let's bring it back." Everyone turns their attention back to the Spanish teacher, waiting for him to continue speaking. "Duets and solos are allowed, as well as group numbers. Since this will be our last assignment before graduation, you can all perform as many times as you like." Mr. Shue keeps talking about Whitney Huston's career and life, but Santana and I are whispering ideas to each other on in the back of the choir room.

"What about "So Emotional"?" she asks, and I nod in approval.

"Fine choice, L-Lopez," I say, leaning in to convey additional ideas. "Duet only?"

"I want to sing with you at least once before I graduate," she says, and I smile.

"Invitation accepted," I say, and she laughs just as the bell rings. Santana leads me down the choir room risers and kisses me goodbye before heading home for the day. Before I grab my bike I get a text.

**Santana: we'll practice tomorrow after school**

**Sent: sure u just want 2 practice? ;)**

**Santana: :P you're such a dork. just do what i tell u and come over tomorrow, k?**

I smile and quickly type my response before getting on my bike and pedaling home. My phone buzzes as I walk through the front door, and I yell hello to my mom before heading upstairs with my backpack. I close my bedroom door and jump on the bed.

**Santana: love you 3**

**Sent: love you more xoxox**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

"Thank God _that's_ over with," Santana groans with a slight smirk, and I lightly smack her arm and scold her. Everyone heard Santana's jibe, including Finn and Rachel, who were performing. The Jewish diva glares at Santana, and you can tell from the look on her face that she wants to lecture Santana about the values of showmanship, but all Rachel does is roll her small, brown eyes, and then grab Finn's hand to walk back to their seats. I smirk, because to be quite honest I really don't like Rachel too much.

For one, I see her as competition. Throughout the entire three years we've been in glee club together, the only words Rachel has ever spoken to me were when she was telling me to lower my voice so hers can be the lead, and to ask me to stop slouching and get the purple highlights out of my hair. I don't have any personal grudges, I just find Rachel over bearing and a bit annoying at times.

I see Santana give Rachel a little wave, and Rachel winks in return. As Santana's hand reaches for mine, I'm wondering what all that's about. All Santana has done for the past three years was obliterate Rachel's self-confidence with venomous comebacks and wicked stares. When had they started to wave to one another, let alone acknowledge the other's presence? It's strange, but I can't think about that now because Santana is pulling me onstage. We both turn and face the glee club, and Santana nods for the band to start playing.

"I don't know why I like it, I just do," Santana begins, giving one of those signature Whitney Huston laughs that are in almost every Whitney song. She shimmies over to the center of the room and I clap along with the beat next to the guitarist, watching Santana's pleated skirt twirl around her waist.

"I been hearing your heartbeat inside of me.

I keep your photograph beside my bed.

Livin' in a world of fantasies, I can't get you out of my head," Santana grabs my hands and hurls me onto the center stage, taking my place and urging me on with a smile. I flick my hair over my shoulder and look at the rest of the glee club. I see Sam recording us with his iPhone and I smirk.

"I've been waiting for the phone to ring all night. Why you wanna make me feel so good.

I got a love of my own, baby. I shouldn't get so hung up on you."

Santana comes and joins me, placing an arm around my shoulders. I grab her waist with my free hand and step forward with her, letting our voices blend together in a perfect harmony.

"I remember the way that we touch, I wish I didn't like it so much.

I get so emotional, baby. Every time I think of you.

I get so emotional, baby. Ain't it shocking what love can do?

Ain't it shocking what love can do? Ain't it shocking what love can do?"

We separate and put our backs against each other, moving our hips and jutting out our chests. I can hear the crowd cat-calling Santana and I, and they're clapping vehemently. I begin again with the second verse.

"I gotta watch you walk in the room, baby. I gotta watch you walk out," I belt out, and then I turn and face Santana. She takes both my hands and pulls me to her side, and then we push away and pull each other back in. We join our voices together again, running up the choir room steps and then coming back down.

"I like the animal way you move, and when you talk I just watch your mouth."

"I remember the way that we touch, I wish I didn't like it so much.

I get so emotional, baby. Every time I think of you.

I get so emotional, baby. Ain't it shocking what love can do?

Ain't it shocking what love can do? Ain't it shocking what love can do?" Santana does a few runs, and after a few seconds the band ends with a cymbal crash. The glee club loves it, and Mercedes and Sam are both standing up, cheering their asses off. Santana pulls down on my hand and loops her arm around my waist as everyone cheers us on. We both bow and then I take Santana's hand and return to the back of the choir room.

"Tina, Santana, that was fantastic! I've never seen such a dynamic duo," Mr. Shue commends, rubbing his hands together and then clamping them onto the top of his chair. "Why didn't you sing together earlier? You two could've been our duet for Nationals!"

Santana shrugs and I laugh, turning to Mr. Shue and shrugging with a smile. "If you would've t-t-told us that earlier, we would've been running to get a d-d-duet!" Mr. Shue laughs and turns back to his clipboard, running over to the bottom of the list.

"Looks like our last number is a duet with Rachel and Santana," Mr. Shue says, a hint of disbelief in his voice. "Wow, ok then. Ladies, if you'd take the stage."

I'm shocked as Santana releases my hand to meet Rachel on the choir room stage. They smile at each other and Rachel steps up to introduce the song. I'm not hearing her little speech about the background and makings of the song, all I'm thinking is how the hell did Rachel get Santana to do a duet with her?

"Clocks strikes upon the hour, and the sun begins to fade," Rachel sings, her proud voice ringing in my ears. I smile when Santana runs a hand up her arm in a sexy fashion, belting out the next verse better than Rachel ever could.

"Still enough time to figure out how to chase my blues away.

I've done alright up 'til now. It's the light of day that shows me how," Santana and Rachel sing together now, Rachel's voice dominating and over powering Santana's.

"And when the night falls, my lonely heart calls."

"Oh! Wanna dance with somebody. I wanna feel the heat with somebody,"

I feel someone take a seat next to me, and to my surprise it's Quinn. I raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper quietly, trying to keep my eyes on Santana. I catch her gaze and wink at her, causing her to smile.

"I got bored over there, listening to Britt and Artie talk about Star Wars and how 'fat' Santana's ass is."

"Her ass is p-p-pretty nice, let me tell you."

Quinn is effectively grossed out, but shakes her head and smiles when she sees Santana do a backflip across the stage. I wasn't even aware Santana could do a backflip.

"W-W-What's with S-S-Santana and Rachel these days? When did they become best friends for life?"

_Wanna dance with somebody, w__ith somebody who loves me._

"When you dumped Santana," Quinn says with a matter-of-fact clarity. I raise an eyebrow and mull over what I want to say, watching Santana shimmy around the stage.

"Explain."

Quinn sighs and scoots her chair closer to mine, whispering into my ear. "Tina, don't ever tell her I told you this, but she was a wreak when you two broke up. Rachel sort of became her friend while you were gone." My expression falls into a deep frown as her words sink their way into my brain. It breaks my heart to know that Santana was so screwed up and upset that she actually let Rachel Berry even _talk_ to her. I snap out of my trance when I feel a touch at my arm.

"What'd you think?" Santana asks with a goofy smile plastered on her face. Quinn giggles softly and sighs.

"I thought it was fantastic, S," she says, and leans closer to me. "If you ever hurt her again, I swear Tina I **will** leave no evidence."

"Tina," Santana says again. "Are you okay?" I nod my head and smile non-convincingly.

"That was g-g-great, Ana. Really great," I tell her, and kiss her on the nose. "I loved it." Completely won over, Santana smiles and loops her arm around mine, holding my hand in hers. We suffer through the last few performances and then walk outside and to Santana's car. Just as I climb into the car, Santana is already over the console and into my shirt. Her soft, full lip lock with mine, and my head is already spinning from the contact. Santana moans against my mouth as I deepen the kiss, letting my tongue slide into her mouth.

"Oh, T," she whispers, her hips already bucking against mine. She climbs into my lap, holding me closer to her. "I want you so much."

"I d-d-don't know if I want to d-d-do that here, S-Santana," I say bashfully, honestly not feeling it right at the moment. Santana pulls away from frowns, and me her face twisting into confusion and denial of desire. She slowly climbs off of my lap, careful to never break eye contact.

"That's fine," she says plainly, sighing and buckling her seatbelt. "Buckle up." I do as she tells me and as soon as my seatbelt clicks, we're suddenly speeding down the small, unpaved back roads of Ohio. I little scared; I glance over at Santana and see that she's gripping the steering wheel like her life depended on it.

"S-S-S—Ana, stop it," I say in a small voice. Santana continues to go faster, as if this were some sort of game. "S-S-Stop it! Slow the hell down! You're g-g-going to kill us!"

"Why didn't you watch my performance?" she yells, her eyes never leaving the road. "Why were you talking to Quinn?"

"What do you m-m-mean? Quinn was talking to me," I explain, bewildered. "S-S-Santana, pull over. S-S-Santana Maria, pull over!" She looks at me with fierce brown eyes. "Don't t-t-take your eyes off the road! Pull the hell over or I s-s-swear to God I will j-jump out of this car!" Santana turns back to the road and pulls over to the shoulder, stopping the car and getting out. I climb out of the Volvo too, and she slams the door and starts walking into the woods with her arms crossed.

"Ana, where are you g-g-going?" I shout at her, grabbing her shoulders and spinning her around. "What is this about?"

"You've been distant for _weeks_, Tina," she tells me deliberately. "We haven't made out or even really spent time together since prom!"

"I like you, okay? Isn't that enough?" I shout, a little angry too.

"You 'like' me? That's it?" she shouts, the warm wind rushing through her dark tresses.

"Look, honey, what is this really about?" I ask, not understanding her argument. Santana frowns and turns away from me, running a hand through her long hair.

"I'm leaving for Louisville in less than a week."

"And? Ana, I know it's g-going to be h-h-hard, but we can do it," I tell her. She turns back to me with tears in her eyes.

"But what if we can't? T, this isn't a Nicholas Sparks movie," Santana says, her beautiful tear filled eyes downcast. "What if… what if we can't make it work? I can't loose you again… it's too hard." I run over and catch Santana just as she collapses to the ground in tears. I sigh and hold her tightly to my chest, trying to make her feel safe in my arms.

"Don't worry about t-t-that; I'll wait for you," I tell her, and I feel Santana press up against me more. "Honestly, I've just been b-b-busy… and I'm sort of bummed that you're leaving. I mean, college is just _bustling_ with experimenting lesbians." Santana snorts at that, and I giggle as well.

"They won't be half as hot as you," she mumbles, and I laugh. Pushing back a lock of brown hair, I lean down and kiss her on the lips.

"I promise that we'll s-s-stay together," I assure her, and she nods.

"I promise too. We belong together, T." Santana smiles and gets up off the ground, holding out her hand for me to grab. I smile and take her hand.

"I l-l-love you, S-S-S-Santana," I say, and she smiles.

"I love you too, sweetie."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_Five months later…_

I'm laying in my bed, gazing lazily at the ceiling, idly playing with the frayed ends of the blanket under me. I'm waiting not so patiently for Tina to call me. I haven't seen her since graduation, even though I promised to come home to do my laundry. It's just that everything's been so busy lately, and the professors having been literally throwing homework at us. I look at the clock, which reads 12:30. I sigh and sit up on the bed, pulling my hair over my shoulder. Why hasn't she called?

My laptop beeps with a message, and I excitedly run over and open the computer, sitting at the desk.

**-Incoming call from Tina-**

I smile and answer the video call, grinning like the cheshire cat and waving enthusiastically. I see my beautiful girlfriend on the other end, wiggling her fingers at me as well. Tina's eyes are all squished up like they get when she's excited.

"Hey babe!" I say excitedly. She smiles and flicks her hair long, black hair over her shoulder.

"H-Hey. How was your d-d-day?" she asks, adjusting the angle of her webcam. "Anything fantastic happen?"

I shrug. "Not really. Between cramming for all the before Thanksgiving tests and the boring cheerleading practices, I haven't had time to do anything." Tina pouts on the other end of the line, obviously concerned.

"I thought c-c-college was supposed to be fun," she says dejectedly. "I thought _you_ were g-g-gonna have fun."

"I've made some friends, does that count as having fun?" I ask, smirking. "Don't worry 'bout it, T. I'm having a great time. My mother isn't breathing down my neck, I can wake up at 8 and still make it to class."

"Whatever you say," she says, smiling. "You know where would be c-c-cool to live? New York."

I roll my eyes and rest my arms on the desk. "T, we've talked about this. I'm not going to New York."

"But your m-m-mom—"

"My mom isn't me. She doesn't know what's best for me," I say, a bit stern. "Can we please not talk about this tonight? I want to know what _you've_ been up to."

"I h-h-hate to admit it, but without Berry and the rest of you around, glee club is in a full state of chaos," Tina says with a shrug. "Everyone's vying for her spot."

"You're definitely the new Rachel, T. Have you gotten any solos yet?"

"No. Some new g-g-girl, Marley, is getting all the solos."

"Marley?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. "Never hear of her."

"She's a freshman. A s-s-super annoying one," Tina explains, rolling her eyes. "She thinks she can just waltz into g-g-glee club and get all the solos. And Mr. Shu gives them to her! I've waited four years for that… it's not f-f-fair."

I pout my lips and sigh. "I wish I could be there to help, T. I'll be home for Thanksgiving, though." Tina's eyes light up at that.

"R-R-Really? That's awesome," she says excitedly. "Maybe you can come to the musical."

"I almost forgot to ask; what's the show this year?"

"Grease. I'm Jan, which is k-k-kind of a stupid role. Marley, however, got to be S-S-Sandy."

"Cheer up, smiles. You'll get your chance," I tell her, and she nods. I can tell she isn't convinced.

"Finn is running the glee c-c-club now. He's such an idiot some times…"

"Lumps? So he's a Lima Loser after all? That's _rich_," I laugh, and Tina rolls her eyes.

"I know, that's what I thought. I mean, why the h-h-hell is he moping around Lima, and even worse at McKinley? Even P-P-Puck left, and we all thought he would be in an ankle bracelet come g-g-graduation."

"Hey Santana. Did you stay up to wait for me?" I hear a voice behind me. The door slams shut and I see my roommate, Lisa, looking totally tanked.

"Ana, who's that? You're r-r-roommate?" Tina asks, and I nod.

"Lisa, this is Tina, my girlfriend. Tina, this is Lisa," I introduce, and Lisa comes up behind me and puts her hands on the back of my chair.

"Hi Tina. Nice to meet you," Lisa says politely, but my red flags raise when I smell alcohol on the girl's breath.

"Hi, n-n-nice to meet you t-t-too," Tina responds, laughing. I laugh nervously, anxious for Lisa to leave. "What's your m-m-major?"

"Jeez, you stutter a lot," Lisa says bluntly. "You should get that checked out or something." I watch Tina's happy expression crumble into a destroyed look of insecurity in the wake of Lisa's uncompassionate comment.

"Yeah, well, not all of us are p-p-p-perfect, darling," Tina says spitefully, then turns her attention back to me. "I'm gonna g-g-go now. See you soon, babe." She blows me a half-hearted kiss before turning off her webcam.

**-Call ended-**

"What the actual fuck, Lisa?" I shout, getting up out of my chair angrily. "Why'd you say that?"

"Calm down, Sannie," she slurs, smiling obliviously. She goes to her bed and starts changing into pajamas, unaware of how furious I am. Not wanting to fight with a drunk, I wave her off and climb into my own bed. Before I close my eye I shoot Tina a quick text.

**To Tina: sorry about Lisa. I didn't mean 4 her to be drunk.**

My phone beeps after 2.5 seconds of waiting. I smile and open my phone to read the message.

**From Tina: it's cool. can't wait to see you next week, xoxox**

**To Tina: Can't wait either. Love you xoxox**

* * *

I get into the theatre just in time to see the start of the show. It's a while until Tina comes on, and since I have almost no emotional ties to any of the other actors, I sit and text on my phone.

**From Q: hey, are you coming home this weekend?**

I smile, remembering that all of us seniors promised to come back to Lima for Thanksgiving. I haven't actually seen anyone else, most likely because they aren't here three days early to see the musical.

**To Q: beat you to it… I'm already in Lima**

**From Q: why?**

**To Q: to see Tina in the musical. They're doing Grease this year.**

**From Q: Brittany told me. I think it's a great choice. **

**To Q: I guess. I've gtg… Tina's coming on in a bit. Xoxox**

**From Q: xoxox**

I slide the phone into my purse and watch Tina's amazing performance. I just wish she could've been Rizzo or Sandy. I mean, she has the voice to be Sandy. I don't understand why she never gets the chance to shine in glee club. Before I know it, Tina's lines are finished and it's back to not paying attention. After the curtain closes, I hurry to find Tina backstage to congratulate her.

I have to duck past a bunch of AV club nerds and costume girls to get to my favorite Asian. When she turns around she jumps into my arms, and I see a blonde girl smirk devilishly.

"S-S-Santana! You came!" she shouts, and I spin her around before setting her down on the ground. Tina's a good head shorter than I am, especially now that I'm wearing heels.

"What makes you think I would miss this? You were amazing, babe," I smile and place a hand on her back, walking with her as she congratulates her friends.

"Thanks. I tried," she says, and that blonde from before knocks into Tina as we're walking. Tina shoots her a dirty look, but the girl doesn't seem to mind. Puzzled, I lean down and whisper into my girlfriend's ear.

"What's with her?" I ask in a low tone. Tina shakes her head and waves me off.

"Kitty, she's a Cheerio. Head, actually."

"Head Cheerio?" I ask, and Tina reaffirms the statement with a quick nod. "I thought Brittany would get it for sure…"

"Brittany got kicked off the squad. Her GPA was too low for Coach Sylvester's liking," Tina informs me, and I'm shocked. Brittany is the best dancer there; Coach Sylvester needs her to win those Nationals trophies she's always babbling on about.

"Wow. Coach must've lowered her standards a lot if she chose that stupid blonde over Brittany," I remark, and Tina shrugs. She doesn't really like Brittany after what happened after Quinn's party.

"I guess. Hey, they're a party after the play at R-Ryder's house… do you want to maybe be my p-p-p-plus one?" I look at her skeptically, not wanting to spend the night with a bunch of teenagers ogling me. I cave when Tina bashes her eyelashes like a fifties movie star.

"Alright, I'll come for a bit," I say, rolling my eyes. Tina smiles and waves to another cast member, congratulating them on a job well done.

"Wear something c-c-c-cute, I'll be showing you off," she says, and I snort.

"Whatever you want to think, but it's really the other way around." She smacks me in the arm for that one, but I see a ghost of a smile creeping across Tina's face out of the corner of my eye. Although I'm really dreading this party, I'm just happy that I can finally spend some time with Tina. My plans include ignoring all the obnoxious partygoers and getting Tina into a dark closet somewhere so we can get our cuddle on.

It's about 8pm when Tina and I get out of Breadstix, Tina's wearing a cute, form fitting black dress with a red leather jacket. Her black and blonde streaked hair is curled in big barrels, the long tresses falling effortlessly around her shoulders. I'm wearing black jeans and a silver sequined top with a black leather jacket, my hair tied up in a ponytail. I open the passenger side of my Volvo for Tina to get in, and then I shut it behind her and run to the driver's seat.

"So, what's this kid's address?" I ask as I climb into the car, and Tina reads it off to me from a slip of paper. I nod and pull out of the parking lot, my hands trading places on the steering wheel. I can tell Tina put on a shitload of perfume because I'm choking on flowers. I love the way Tina smells, but it's giving me a headache at the moment. I roll down my window to get some fresh air, resting my left arm on the door.

"Just to let y-y-you know, Ryder was Danny in the play," Tina reminds me, and I raise an eyebrow threateningly. "I know you're not st-t-t-tupid. You just tend to forget names."

"What are you talking about? I'm great at remembering names," I scoff, and Tina rolls her eyes. "You're middle name is Lucy. See, I remember names just fine."

"Please, of course you know _my_ name, S-S-Santana Maria," she says, emphasizing the final word. "Turn-turn-turn… you missed his house!"

"Godamnit, Tina! Why didn't you say something?' I scold, and she apologizes. I back up and into the kid's house, and I smile and take her hand when we begin the walk down the driveway. It looks like everyone is already here when we open the door to Ryder's house. His house is the perfect party pad; lots of space and from what I'm hearing an excellent sound system. Tina squeezes my hand and leads me through a few rooms until we find the kitchen, which is packed with people. Ryder pushes through a bunch of students to say hello to us, a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Hey Tina, I'm glad you came," he says, and Tina smiles, telling him she wouldn't miss a party. Ryder notices me and his happy grin falls into a frown, his eyes flitting from Tina to me and back. "Who's this? She seems… too old to go to McKinley."

"Excuse me, I'm only 18," I scoff, crossing my arms. "And what are you talking about? You look like you haven't even hit—" Tina elbows me in the side, hard, which stops me from finishing my sentence.

"This is my girlfriend, S-S-Santana," Tina says, and Ryder's smile withers into a frown almost immediately. Tina shrugs and cocks her head to the side very slightly. "You d-d-don't mind that I brought her, do you?"

Ryder opens his mouth to speak, looking at Tina. To my surprise, Tina bites her bottom lip and waits for Ryder to answer. The boy swallows hard and puts on a fake grin.

"No, not at all," Ryder lies, and I nod thankfully. There's a shout from the kitchen, followed by chants of 'chug, chug!', so Ryder peeks into the room. "I think I'd better go attend to my other guests; I think Jake is going a little nuts with the booze."

"See you," Tina responds, lifting a hand in a casual wave. I link arms with Tina and we push through the never-ending crowd of teenagers to get down into the basement of the house. Ryder's basement is the ultimate man cave, complete with a video game corner, a pool table, and a small bar.

Immediately, Tina pushes me up against a wall and her lips hungrily find mine. I can taste the cherry chap stick on her lips; I loop my arms around her neck as her hands run down my sides. I moan as she moves to my neck, her mouth sucking on my skin in all its sensitive spots.

"I miss this," I tell Tina, and she laughs.

"Yeah, so d-d-do I," she says in between kisses. I bring her back up to my lips, letting her idly play with my breasts. Tina's expert hands reach to unhook my black lace bra, but I take her hands and place them on my hips.

"Not here," I whisper into her ear, looking sternly into her thin brown eyes. Tina nods and bites her bottom lip, obviously thinking that I wanted to stop. In a silent message, I grab her and pull her into me, my lips locking with hers. She moans against me and I pull away and smile at Tina. "That was awesome."

"I know," I giggle, and I can't help grinning when she smiles at me. "I wish we could do more." I pout my lips and adjust her jacket, not focusing on her eyes.

"I know, I know, but I don't want to get caught; it's sleazy," I explain. "Plus I'd be too buzzed to focus on pretending to like these gleeks. I thought _we_ were losers, but this new batch is definitely worse." Tina laughs and sits down with her back against the wall. I slide down and join her, holding her hand in my lap. She smiles, rests her head on my shoulder, and sighs.

"I wish we weren't so far apart," Tina admits after a short period of silence. "I wish I could kiss you every day."

I chuckle softly. "Me too. But soon you'll be in college too, and before you know it we'll have graduated," I say to assure Tina, combing my fingers through her hair. "And we can move in together after I graduate."

"That would be awesome," Tina coos, and I nod. "Would you actually consider m-m-moving in together? Or are you just saying t-t-that?" I stop stroking her head and hug her a little tighter.

"It's not a definite, but I've been thinking about it lately," I admit. "But we can cross that bridge when we get there, okay?" I smile and press my lips to her nose. I hear a shutter sound behind me and I see Tina's beautiful brown eyes go wide.

"Well, isn't this a Kodak moment?" I hear a girl say with a snide tone. I turn around with an eyebrow raised, ready to go all Lima Heights on this bitch.

"Kitty, what do you want?" Tina spits, her eyes narrowing into slits. The blonde leans on the banister, toying with the camera in her hands.

"Leverage," Kitty says with an up-to-no-good grin. "Do you really want everyone to know which team you play for, Chang? It could ruin your reputation for the rest of the year."

I laugh out loud. Is she serious? Tina laughs with me, and Kitty shifts her weight from one foot to the other nervously.

"What's so funny?" she asks, frustrated. I nudge for Tina to say something, and she calms herself down enough to speak without cracking up.

"I'm out. Everyone knows that I'm dating Santana," Tina informs her, and I watch Kitty's face fall with the news. "Unless you came down here because you wanted to join us..."

The Cheerio's face turns tomato red. "Whatever, Chang. I'm not going to be a part of your satanic three some." I bite my lip in order to contain my laughter, and I cover my mouth as Tina shrugs non-chalantly.

"You'll be missing all the f-f-fun, Kitty," she says as seductively as she can. With a disgusted look on her face, the Cheerio runs back up the stairs and shuts the door.

"That," I say, laughing. "Was awesome. I didn't know you were so… bad?" Tina smiles. "I like it."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

_One month later…_

I quickly ascend the steps leading to her house, the cold night air nipping at my ears. I can feel my cheeks getting red from the wintry air, so I breathe into my hands and rub them together, hurriedly ringing the doorbell before retracting my hand again. When no one answers, I peek into the small window on the side of the door to see Tina sitting at the kitchen table, and from the looks of it she's in the middle of a very serious game of Angry Birds. Smirking, I rap my knuckles against the glass. Tina's head jerks up and she looks right at me, grinning like the Cheshire cat and tearing the iPod buds out of her ears.

"S-Santana!" she shouts, jumping into my arms the moment the door is opened. "I d-d-didn't think you'd be here until after Christmas day!" I laugh and step into the house with Tina's legs and arms wrapped around me tightly, and I kick the door closed with my foot.

"What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't give you a ChristmaHanukkah gift?" I respond, tilting my head to the side to give her a kiss. Tina smiles and pulls away, jumping down from her Santana perch.

"Is that so?" Tina said with a smirk. "What kind of g-g-goodies do you have for me?" Tina grabs my hand and leads me to the kitchen, so I sit down at the table, putting my bag down and taking off my black pea coat and scarf. I look around and notice the lack of parents at Tina's, and for a moment I'm wondering why she's alone on Christmas Eve.

"You'll have to wait until Christmas, baby. If I gave them to you now, it would ruin all the fun of making you wait," I tell her, smiling. Tina laughs and moves around in the kitchen, opening up cabinets and retrieving items.

"Do you want some h-h-h-h…h-h-h-h…" I frown when Tina struggles with the word, knowing that it's frustrating for her.

"Yes, I'd love some," I tell her, and she nods. She takes out two reindeer mugs, carefully empting the little packets of chocolate powder into the ceramic cups. We're silent for a moment, Tina places the mugs into the microwave and watches them slowly rotate inside. I cross my legs and sit up a bit, licking my lips. "Hey, T, are your parents home?"

Tina shakes her head, taking the mugs out of the microwave and bringing them to the table. "No, they're at a Christmas p-p-p-party. They usually aren't home until, like, four in the morning." She sets a mug in front of me with a smile, and I smile back at her, thinking how cute we are all domestic and shit.

"Really? I didn't take your moms to be partiers," I say, sipping my hot chocolate. I make a face and take in a hissing breath when the drink is too hot, and I see Tina smiling from across the table. "Oh stop. You know I'm impatient."

Tina looks up from her hot chocolate and smiles. I pout my lips and lean across the table, wiping a bit of un-melted chocolate powder from the corner of her mouth. Before I have the chance to pull back, Tina catches my hand.

"I know… and s-so am I," she says, a lustful look in her eyes. I raise an eyebrow and smirk, knowing what Tina is getting at. "My parents aren't home…"

I cut her off with a kiss, my mouth hungry to find hers. Tina moves to my side of the table, sitting in my lap and tugging at my shirt. I slowly slide my hands to cup her jaw, my lips moving against hers. I haven't seen her in a month, and her hands on my skin make me feel… so good. I giggle as she traces patterns on my leg, and I'm as eager as she is to take this up to bed.

"T… let's go upstairs," I say between kisses, and Tina nods. Laughing like maniacs, we somehow manage to run upstairs hand in hand, Tina slamming her bedroom door shut and frantically taking off my shirt. I raise my arms and let her slide the long sleeve off my body, Tina's lips crashing against mine as soon as my shirt is off. I giggle and shiver beneath her touch, loving every tickle and caress. Tina's hands run down my stomach, sliding her hands into the front pockets of my jeans and rubbing circles into my hipbones.

Before I can properly react, Tina pushes me onto her small bed and straddles my hips, leaning down and planting hot kisses down my neck. I'm finding it hard to concentrate at the moment, but I manage to cup her neck and catch her lips in mine. I'm confused when Tina unexpectedly pulls away, sitting up and getting off me.

"W-W-W-Wait, your c-c-c-car," she says, her eyes wide. "My moms will k-k-k-kill me if they know you s-s-s-slept over."

I roll my eyes and sit up, then jump off the bed to look for my shirt. As I pull my sweater back on, Tina groans.

"Are you g-g-g-going to be long? I can't wait f-f-forever," Tina says with a smug smirk, which prompts me to shrug.

"I'm not leaving, not with you out of your bra," I tell her, and she glances down at her bare chest in confusion.

"How the…."

"I told you, I'm a sex goddess," I grin, running over to her and giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek. "I'm just going to drive my car over to my parent's house and then walk back here." Tina raises her eyebrow and shakes her head.

"N-N-No, you're g-going to freeze! Let m-m-me—" I cut her off when I kiss her and give her breast a tender squeeze, knowing exactly how to get her to stop worrying.

"You just lie in bed and look cute, alright? I won't be more than ten minutes… try to survive without me." With that, I walk to her bedroom door and give Tina a little flirty wave before I close the door behind me, then quickly run outside to get my car out of the driveway, a big, goofy smile plastered on my face the entire way home.

* * *

_I'm sorry everyone. I know this isn't much, but hopefully I will gain the inspiration to write the rest of this chapter soon. _


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

I awake to the touch of a hand on my face, hastily followed by a kiss on my lips. Not bothering to open my eyes, I lean into the kiss and slide my tongue into her mouth before opening my eyes and looking up at Santana. She's smiling and gazing down at me with admiration in her dark brown eyes. The way the sunlight hits her creates a halo around her head, and I'm imagining this is what an angel looks like. Santana grins and pushes a lock of hair from my eyes with a gentle touch.

"Good morning, beautiful," she coos, leaning down and kissing my collarbone. All my muscles are screaming from last night's activities, but Santana's lips are hot against me so I let her kiss her way down to my breasts. Sliding her hands up from my waist to my shoulders, she takes my breasts in her hands, squeezing them carefully. I bite my lip in order to stifle a moan. "You look so cute when you're sleeping, you know that?" Santana's warm brown eyes flicker up to meet mine, a small smirk on her face.

"G-G-Good morning, babe," I whisper, leaning up to nip at her ear. "Last n-n-night was… amazing." Santana leans back down on the bed, on her side facing me. Our hands find each other and our fingers lace themselves together like we've done this for years, just the two of us, completely comfortable with each other. I focus back on Santana, smiling goofily at her.

"I would hope so. From the noises you were making…" she trails off, and I'm trying not to laugh. I see her smile and I'm confused. Understanding my expression, Santana drags a hand down my arm and sticks out her tongue just a bit. "You're face is bright red… gosh you're adorable. Out of all the times we've made love… and you're still always embarrassed afterwards," Santana says with a grin, batting her eyelashes at me.

"I think this is the f-f-f-first time we've actually… made love," I say as Santana gets up from the bed in an attempt to try and find her clothes. I sit up to see that both of our clothes are strewn carelessly around my bedroom, the entire space in a state of disarray. I watch Santana slide into a pair of panties and then straighten up to look back at me.

"What do you mean, the first time? We've made love before, T," Santana says, a confused expression creeping across her face. I shake my head, Santana obviously not getting my point.

"All those other t-t-times, it was kind of just s-s-sex," I tell her, tracing patterns on the sheets covering my legs. "It was never like last night. This time it was…" I trail off, looking into Santana's caramel brown orbs. "Th-h-h-his time, it was special. I don't know… I'm r-r-rambling."

"No… I like hearing what you're thinking," Santana assures me while sliding a shirt over her head. "I guess you're right. I just don't get the difference."

I shrug. "Sex, s-s-sex is quick and rushed and without any real thought. I mean, the only times we've ever d-d-done stuff was in the school bathroom and in a hotel room in New York where all we did was attack each other. And one of those times didn't count, because we were both really drunk," I explain, Santana glaring at me with a smirk. "Okay, _I _was drunk. The p-p-point is… it felt different this time. Sensual, I g-g-guess. I really felt like I loved you." I look up at Santana and smile. "I love you, S-S-S-S-S… S-S-S-Santana," I finally manage, and I quickly glance down at my hands. Santana comes over and sits on the bed next to me, tilting my chin up with a finger.

"I love you too, Tina," she says, locking lips with me. Immediately, I pull her down on the bed with me, wrap my arm around her waist, and slide her closer to me, our bodies pressed against each other tightly. Out of nowhere there's a loud knock on the door, and Santana shoots up out of my arms with panic in her eyes. I quickly get under the covers as Santana runs to hide in my closet, trying as hard as she possibly can to quietly close the sliding door. Thankfully, it closes without a problem, so I lay down in bed, careful to have the covers over me, and I pretend to be sleeping. Another knock on the door is followed by my name.

"Christina, baby, are you awake?"

"Just open the door… she's not going to answer you if she's asleep."

"Okay, Miss Bossy Pants. Christina, we're coming in…" my mommy trails off, opening the door to my bedroom. Trying to be silent, my moms sit on my bed and gently shake me awake.

"Tina, honey, wake up," my mom tells me, so I open my eyes and pretend to be confused. I rub my eyes and frown, looking up at my mothers.

"Oh… hey s-s-sorry. I must've been r-r-really tired," I lie, not getting up from my comfortable position.

"Are you alright? When we came in last night we heard some noises… were you having a nightmare?" my mom asks, concerned. I pout my lips and shrug nonchalantly.

"Yeah… it was bad. B-B-But it's all good now," I tell them reassuringly. "Why'd you w-w-wake me up? It's winter v-v-v-v—"

"You have speech therapy at 11:30. You've got to get up and eat," my mommy tells me, so I nod but I don't get out of bed. Puzzled, my mothers look at me with confused expressions.

"I'm… I'm not wearing any p-p-p-pajamas…" I say, and my mothers both recoil and start walking out of my room.

"Well hurry up and get changed, T. You've got to be there in 45 minutes," my mom informs me, and I nod and smile. As soon as they close the door I jump out of bed and run to the closet, both to let Santana out and to get some clothes. I'm searching the closet for an acceptable outfit, and when I pull out a bright blue dress and some striped tights I bring them to my bed and change into them. As I'm getting ready, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to sneak Santana out of here without my mothers finding out. Whilst I'm brushing my teeth in the bathroom, Santana comes up behind me and runs her hands up and down my sides, finally looping them around my neck and pressing herself against me. She looks at me through the mirror, and I smile at her.

"You never told me you were going to therapy," she says in a low, warm voice.

"I d-d-d-didn't think it was important," I say nervously. I had started speech therapy only a month ago, to try it out, but it hasn't really worked yet. I did it partially for myself, and partially for Santana, to be perfectly honest. I know she gets frustrated sometimes, especially when I stutter over her name.

"It's super important… I'm proud of you. For recognizing that you have an issue, and for taking the steps to try and fix it," Santana says, massaging my shoulders. "Would you care if I came with you today? I wanna see it." I spit the toothpaste out of my mouth and shrug.

"S-S-S-Sure, if you really w-w-want to," I tell her, handing her an extra toothbrush I had found in the drawer. "I'll grab you a p-poptart and then I'll walk out the door with you. I'll j-j-j-just tell my moms I want to go alone t-t-today." Santana nods and continues to brush her teeth. I put on a little eyeliner and some mascara before brushing my hair and then heading downstairs. I grab the first thing I see that's edible and kiss my mothers goodbye before meeting Santana at the door and hastily ushering her outside and into my car.

When we get to the office, I sign in and Santana and I wait in the lobby, Santana holding a _People_ magazine. I'm reading over her shoulder, both of us commenting on celebrity fashion and drooling over Jennifer Lawrence.

"Cohen-Chang?" a woman calls, looking around for me. I get up and so does Santana, and I walk over and follow the woman, taking Santana's hand in mine. When we reach the correct office, my therapist is surprised that I've brought someone with me.

"Good morning, Tina. Who's this?" Dr. Lewis asks, gesturing for Santana and I to sit down. Before I can say anything, Santana leans over the doctor's desk and introduces herself.

"I'm Santana, Tina's girlfriend," Santana says, giving Dr. Lewis a firm handshake. The doctor smiles and returns the handshake, and Santana sits down. "I just wanted to see what this is all about… if you don't mind." The doctor smiles and waves her off.

"It's not a problem with me as long as it isn't a problem with Tina," Dr. Lewis says. I smile and give Santana's hand a squeeze before dropping it when Dr. Lewis catches my attention.

"Alright Tina, today I'm going to have you read a passage from a book, and then we'll just go over your trouble words and some new ones, okay?" I nod as she hands me _Catcher in the Rye_, which makes me smile. Dr. Lewis notices this, and asks me if I've read this before. I nod.

"It's one of my favorite books," I tell her, and Dr. Lewis smiles.

"Good, so you know the material already. Turn to page four, read just the first paragraph," she tells me, and I flip to the proper page and take a deep breath before beginning.

"T-T-T-There were never many g-g-g-girls at all at the football games. Only s-s-s-seniors were allowed to bring girls with them. It was a terrible school, no m-m-m-matter how you looked at it. I like to be s-s-somewhere at least where you can see a few g-g-g-girls around once in a while, even if they're only scratching their arms or blowing their noses or even j-j-j-just giggling or something. Old S-S-S-S-S…S-S-Selma T-Thurmer-she was the headmaster's daughter—s-s-showed up at the games quite often, but she wasn't exactly the type that drove you mad with d-d-desire. She was a pretty n-n-nice girl, though. I sat next to her once in the b-b-bus from Agerstown and we sort of struck up a c-conversation. I liked her," I finally finish the passage, placing the book back down on the desk. Dr. Lewis writes down a few more notes before looking back up at me.

"Great job, Tina. I noticed that you were better with your 't' sounds, nice work," Dr. Lewis says. "Now, we're just going to talk. Remember to stop and take your time with a word if you need to. There's no rush." I nod and bite my lip, wondering what to say. Santana nudges me in the elbow and whispers in my ear. I shrug and turn back to Dr. Lewis.

"W-W-What are your plans for Chris-s-stmas, Dr. Lewis?" I ask the doctor, and she tells me about going to Florida with her family. When she asks me the same question I purse my lips.

"J-Just Christmas m-m-morning with my m-m-moms, and t-then we're having breakfast with S-S-S-S-S-S… S-S-S-S. Ana and her mother," I finish with much frustration, and Dr. Lewis raises an eyebrow. I look over to see Santana biting her lip and looking down at her hands, embarrassed.

"Do you always have a hard time with Santana's name, Tina?" Dr. Lewis proses, clicking her pen open.

"Yes… I've never actually b-b-been able to s-s-say her name, ever," I admit, and Santana sighs. Dr. Lewis writes something in her notebook.

"So is that why you call her Ana? Who came up with that?" Dr. Lewis asks, and before I can tell her Santana replies.

"I did. It's just…" Santana avoids Dr. Lewis' gaze.

"You can say whatever you're thinking here, Santana. I am not here to judge you," Dr. Lewis tells her, and Santana looks up at me.

"I feel awful that you have such a hard time with my name… I feel bad because I know it frustrates you," Santana says, her brown eyes saying more than she is. Dr. Lewis coughs and gets our attention, obviously wanting to say something.

"So you feel like it's your fault that Tina has trouble with your name? Is this something you've discussed with each other?" We shake our heads simultaneously. "Tina, is this the reason why you agreed to see me?"

"Yes, for that and a lot of o-o-other reasons," I say vaguely, and I feel Santana's hand squeeze mine. I sigh. "I j-j-just don't want other people to be h-h-hindered by my s-s-stutter."

"Who would you be hindering by stuttering, Tina?"

"S-S-S-Santana, people w-w-waiting in lines for things… my children," I say, and Santana turns to me with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you mean, your children?" she says before Dr. Lewis does, a confused look on her face. I sigh and bite my lip, not wanting to spill my deepest thoughts here and now.

"What if we have kids, Ana? What if t-t-they, like, c-catch my stutter? What if they g-g-get made fun of for having two mothers and s-s-stuttering!" I say a little loudly.

"Tina, stutters aren't like the cold, you can't 'catch' them," Dr. Lewis informs me.

"B-B-But how are they supposed to learn to s-s-speak if they listen to me all the t-t-time? I just don't want to be a b-b-burden anymore."

"Tina, baby, when have you ever been a burden to anyone? Your moms love you, I love you," Santana tells me, shaking her head. "What is this really about?" I can hear the scratching of Dr. Lewis' pen across paper, writing down everything that's happening.

"I feel like I'm d-d-disappointing you. I don't want you to finish my s-s-sentences for the rest of our lives. I want to b-b-be independent." Santana sucks in a breath, trying to find the right words.

"You will _never _disappoint me, Tina Cohen-Chang. Don't ever think that I'm not proud of you, that I won't support you with whatever you do." Santana shakes her head and smiles. "I don't give a damn if we're ninety years old and you still have trouble with my name, all I care about is that you're happy."

* * *

I wake up early on Christmas morning, eager to get my mothers out of bed. This is the first time they'll have meet Mrs. Lopez, and as Santana's mother is already skeptical of Santana and I, I want my mothers to make a good impression on her. After taking a quick shower, I fish out a tacky red and green Christmas sweater and match it with a skirt, then hastily get ready for the day. A smile creeps across my face when I get an idea, so I grab my phone from the nightstand and video call Santana, who's probably still asleep. The phone rings for a while until it finally connects, showing me a half asleep Santana, still under the covers.

"I know you like talking to me, but it's way too early for this," Santana moans, covering her eyes with her hand.

"Merry C-Christmas, S-S-S-S-Santana. What did S-S-Santa bring you?" I ask giddily, a smile cracking across my face. Santana rolls her eyes, but I can detect the slightest smile on her face.

"Merry Christmas, babe. I'm too old for Santa," she tells me, but I'm not convinced. "What are you doing?"

"Getting r-ready for our breakfast, obviously," I giggle, running a hand through my hair. "Look, I've even g-got my reindeer sweater on!" I say excitedly, showing her the god-awful sweater I have on.

"You're such a dork… NO MAMI, I'M NOT ASLEEP. YES, I'LL COME DOWN IN A SEC… I'M TALKING- ESTOY HABLANDA CON TINA! Sorry babe, I've got to go. I swear, every time I come back here my mother becomes more and more insane. Love you!" she apologizes, blowing me a kiss. I smile and pretend to catch it.

"Love you," I say, and the call ends.

* * *

"Now Mami, please be respectful. I know you think that only a man and a woman should be together… but the Cohen-Chang's are good people. Please don't embarrass me, por favor," I ask my mother, our arms linked as I walk her into the restaurant. When I see Tina and her mothers at a table I'm concerned at first, but when Tina's dark eyes catch mine and she smiles, it gives me some relief that everything will be all right. Smiling, I point out the table to my mother and Tina waves to us. Surprisingly, my mother nods her head at Tina in greeting. As we walk to the table, Tina gets up to greet us.

"Hi Mrs. Lopez," she says cheerfully, pulling my mother into a tight hug. "Feliz navidad, Senorita." My mother is impressed by Tina's accent and smiles at her.

"Feliz navidad, muy bien," my mother says, turning to Tina's mothers. "Very nice to meet you, I am Maria."

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Maria. I'm Liz and this is my wife, Sun," my mom introduces, shaking hands with Mrs. Lopez. While our mothers get acquainted, Tina hugs me and kisses me on the cheek, then leads me to the other side of the table.

"They seem to like each other," I whisper into Tina's ear, leaning over to touch her shoulder against mine. "If my mom doesn't go all "gays are a sin" on your moms, we should be set until next Christmas." Tina giggles and elbows me in the ribs playfully, her eyes settling back on my mother as the women sit back down. We all talk for a while about jobs and my college experiences and Tina's mothers are telling my mother about how Tina received a student of the month award. When our food comes around, Tina takes her fork and stabs it into my pancakes, taking a few bites with her onto her plate. I look at her in disbelief, pissed because I waited so long for those pancakes.

"Tinaaaa," I complain. "Why'd you have to do that?"

Tina shrugs. "You can have some of my b-b-bacon, I don't really want it," she says, handing me a piece of fried meat. I pout my lips and she rolls her eyes.

"Oh calm yourself. Your pancakes looked r-r-really delicious," Tina says, and without thinking I blurt out my next sentence.

"You always like my pancakes." Tina's eyes go wide and she gives me the death glare, she looks terrified to see her mothers' reaction. Lucky for me, the innuendo goes right over my mother's head. Unfortunately, for Tina, her moms are currently giving us the stank eye. I mouth 'sorry' to Tina, and she takes my hand and squeezes it under the table. While our mothers are occupied, Tina leans over and whispers into my ear.

"Must I remind you t-t-that my mothers are l-l-lesbians? P-Pull another stunt like that, and I'm throwing you to the d-d-dogs," Tina threatens, and I can't tell if she's serious or not.

* * *

**Here it is... the new chapter! I hope you guys like it... don't worry, Tina's not mad at Santana, it's all good! I'm thinking that the next chapter might jump ahead to when Tina is finished with college... because they're going to be apart a lot if I continue on this path. I will update by the end of the week, hopefully.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

I sit on the window seat overlooking the city, my legs crossed over each other and my hand idly tinkering with the pendant around my neck. It's a small, gold heart, nothing flashy, but it's a memory of Santana and I's first Christmas together. I've never taken it off since then; I treasure it too much to risk loosing it. Since our first Christmas together, Santana and I have stuck together through pretty much everything. I'm glad that I have her to support me and love me.

A small ding interrupts my thoughts, the laptop on the coffee table lighting up. I quickly run over to the computer to open the email, clicking on a message titled "Class of 2012-2013 Reunion". I bite my lip and read the message, which only further proves my theory that this is Santana and I's high school reunion invitation. It's only been seven years that I've been waiting for this, and I quickly dial Santana's cell number and wait for her to pick up. She should be just getting out of work now, so I wait until she finally picks up the phone.

"_Hey babe, what's up?" _Santana asks over the roar of traffic.

"I just g-g-got an invitation to our high school reunion… can we go, Ana?" I ask, and I hear Santana shriek on the other side.

"_Are you kidding? Yes! Do you know how long I've been waiting for this? I can't wait to see who got plastic surgery…"_

"Who got fat…"

"_How many Cheerios ended up as pole dancers… when is it?"_

I look over the message again. "This S-S-S-Saturday, at a club… in New York!"

"_That's perfect… is it one we've been to?"_

I scan the message a third time. "Uhh, yeah. It's at Glitter. Wow, I wonder who planned this… that p-p-place is so trashy," I say, playing with my hair.

"_Yeah, and it's **also** a gay bar. This should be interesting," _Santana says with a laugh. _"I've got to go, I don't want to get hit by a taxi. I'll be home in about ten minutes." _

I nod. "Love you."

"_Love you too," _she says, then hangs up. I immediately call another number, anxious to see if she's going as well.

"_Hey Miss T! What's up?" _Mercedes cackles, which makes me laugh. _"Did you get the invite too?"_

"Yeah, that's w-w-w-what I was going to ask you. Are you and S-S-Sammy going?"

"_I think so… lemme ask. HONEY, CAN WE GO TO THE REUNION… IT'S ON SATURDAY… yeah, we're going," _Mercedes says, and I squeal.

"Ana and I are g-g-going as well… Cedes this is going to be so much fun!" I shout, and she laughs.

"_I know! Dancing, drinks… we haven't been out to a club in a long time," _Mercedes says, probably rolling her eyes. _"Have you ever been to the club… Glitter?"_

I laugh into the receiver. "Get this, it's a _gay bar._ Whoever p-p-planned this did **not** do their research."

"_Are you for real? That's hilarious… so you girls have been there? Hold on a sec, T… I'm talking to Tina, Sam... Hold up, Sammy wants to talk to you," _Mercedes says, handing the phone to Sam.

"_Hey there Chang. So you're going to this thing too?" _

"Yeah, it's going to be f-f-f-fun! You guys will get a break from the twins for a night," I offer and Sam lets out a sigh.

"_That would be awesome. I mean, we'll have to find a babysitter. Hey, Santana's good with kids, right?"_

I roll my eyes. "D-D-Dork, she's obviously coming with me. Why would I got to a high school reunion w-w-without my hot, hot girlfriend?" I can hear Mercedes laughing on the other end, followed by babies crying.

"_Whoops, looks like we've woke the kids up,_ w_e've got to go. Love you, say hi to Santana for us!" _Sam says. I can hear Mercedes yelling the same thing as she runs into another room. I smile and look down at my feet.

"Love you guys t-t-too… yeah, see you then." I hang up the phone just as Santana walks in. She throws her bag onto the sofa and I walk over to give her a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, how was work?"

"Okay, I guess," Santana says, pulling me into a hug. "I'm just glad that we've got that reunion to look forward to." Santana breaks away from the embrace and goes to sit on the couch, patting her lap for me to come sit. I lay my head against her chest, the two of us just sitting there for a while.

"I'm assuming you called the Chocolate twins?" Santana says, breaking the silence. I chuckle and nod.

"Yes, I c-c-called them. They're going, they just have to f-find a babysitter for Adam and Alec," I tell her, nuzzling into her shoulder. Santana plants a quick kiss on my forehead, lifting up my chin to press her lips against mine.

"What's for dinner?"

"I don't know… Lean Cuisines?"

"Tina, those are gross. Only you eat those," Santana says with a look of distaste. "Wanna just order pizza?"

"Yes. I would like t-t-that," I say, and Santana playfully pushes me off her lap and onto the carpet, and I chase her to the take out menu drawer so I can order from my favorite pizza parlor instead of hers.

* * *

I open the door for Santana as we walk into Glitter, a club true to its name. The bar, stools, and all the tables are covered in pink and silver glitter, and most of the club's patrons have covered each other in the stuff. Santana grabs my hand and waves to someone, and I look around to see that it's Quinn Fabray, one of her old Cheerio friends.

"She looks g-good," I say, leaning close to Santana. "She still looks the s-s-same as she did in high school."

"So do we, T. Do… you think I should go talk to her?" Santana asks, biting her lip nervously. I'm in shock.

"Yes, you s-s-s-should go talk to her! Go, go!" I say, pushing her forward. Just as Santana turns around to drag me along I'm tackled from behind, a pair of arms hugging my neck.

"So _these _are your native people… interesting," Mercedes yells in my ear over the loud music. I smile and roll my eyes, turning around to give Mercedes a proper hug.

"Very f-f-funny," I say, standing on my tiptoes to hug Sam. Mercedes looks around me with an arched eyebrow.

"Where's San?" she asks, and I point to the bar. Santana is leaning against the glittery counter, laughing with Quinn.

"Catching up," I say, and my lips curl into a smile when I see someone else.

"Blaine!" I shout, running over to the dark-haired man. Blaine's grown a few inches since high school, so he's taller than me now. With a smirk he lifts me up off the ground, spinning around once before letting me down.

"Tina! How are you, honey?" he says all at once, and I laugh and pat him on the shoulder.

"I'm g-g-good. I made it through medical school, I s-should let you know," I inform him, and Blaine's eyes light up with pride.

"Really? Tina, that's fantastic!" Blaine says, and a blond haired man comes up behind him.

"Who's this, Blainey?" the man says, looking right into my eyes. A little frightened, I stick out my hand awkwardly.

"I'm T-T-Tina, nice to meet you…?" I ask, and the man shakes my hand and flashes me a smile.

"Carson, nice to meet you. Blaine tells me you two were in glee club together?" Carson says with a nod, dropping my hand. "You've _got _to tell me all of the embarrassing things he did." Blaine playfully nudges him in the stomach, getting him to stop talking.

"Well, for starters, Blaine w-w-wore bowties _everyday _to school," I tell the fashionable young man, and his light blue eyes spark with laughter.

"That's gold! Tina, we're going to be very good friends someday," Carson chuckles, giving me a high-five. Blaine clears his throat, clearly embarrassed about his bow tie phase.

"Tina, babe, you've got to see what Miranda Rogers' boobs look like. I swear, she's at _least_ a double D," Santana laughs, coming up behind me and resting her hands on my shoulders. Looking over my head at Blaine, she flashes him a smile. "Sup, Anderson?"

Blaine smiles and glances down for a moment. "Hey Santana, how are you? I saw your article, by the way. Very good." Santana laughs and thanks him, taking my hand and squeezing it.

"Really? Thanks, that means a lot," Santana says politely. "If you'll excuse me, I'll have to borrow Tina for a quick sec." Without letting me say goodbye, Santana pulls me through the throngs of bar goers, most of the lesbian women ogling my girlfriend. I shoot them all a death glare and they hastily return to their drinks.

"What's this about? I r-r-really don't care about this chick's-"

"We're not going to see that… do you think I'm a big perv?" Santana scoffs with a smile on her face. "I like small boobs like yours anyway."

"Hey, they're not s-s-small!" I protest, and Santana giggles and points to someone over my shoulder. My eyes grow wide when I see Kurt and Brittany standing up on the little stage in the bar, Kurt winking at me.

"Go up there!" Santana encourages me, pushing me to the front of the crowd. With a big, impish grin, Kurt lends me a hand and pulls me up onstage. I join Brittany behind him, cracking up when I hear the music begin.

"This is a little something the three of us thought up back in sophomore year. May I introduce the lovely Tina Cohen-Chang and Brittany Pierce! And I am, of course, Kurt Hummel," Kurt said enthusiastically, and we all get into position. To be quite honest, I forgot the entire number, and I'm feverishly hoping that Brittany and Kurt don't remember it too well either. As I'm pretending to know what I'm doing, laughing with Kurt the entire time, I see Santana pull out her phone and take a video of us.

"Tina, come here," Brittany whispers loud enough for me to here. I quickly run up to the front of the stage with her, mimicking Brittany's every move. Adding a little something extra to my dance, I step forward but I quickly realize that there's no more stage left for me to walk on. Before I really know what's happening I fall off the stage and onto my face, no one there to catch me. My face hits the wood flooring and I immediately hear a sickening crack. A wave of pain shoots through my face, and I can hear Kurt shriek and everyone around me gasp. I push myself up on my knees and shakily stand, a kind man holding my arm and helping me up. I look around to see Santana obnoxiously pushing her way through the crowd.

"Tina, Tina baby, are you okay?" she shouts nervously, taking me and looking at me. Santana's face turns white, her big brown eyes even bigger.

"S-S-S-Santana, what's wrong?" I ask frantically, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"You're… you're nose is broken. Oh god, I think I'm gonna throw up," Santana shouts, her face drained of color. She's never been good around blood.

"Excuse me ladies, I think I can help," a southern twang offers, putting a guiding hand on my shoulder and leading Santana and I into the women's restroom.

"Not t-t-t-that I'm not thankful… but wh-h-h-ho are you?" I ask the man, turning around and finally looking at him. He looks about our age, tall and lean with cropped, dark brown hair. His piercing blue eyes are flickering from my eyes to my nose, an emotionless mask worn on his face.

"I'm a doctor, that's all you need to know. Now, I'm going to need to you sit down… I think you might have a concussion." I nod and sit on the floor up against the wall, and I'm worried when a wave of pain hits my head.

"Is she alright?" I hear Santana ask, and the man doesn't look away from me when he answers her.

"I think so, just let me do my job, miss. Now, can you tell me your name?"

"T-T-Tina, " I stutter, my head and nose hurting too much to concentrate on speaking clearly. Another wave of pain shoots through my head and I suck in a breath, closing my eyes for a moment.

"Okay, Tina, I'm going to need you to keep your eyes open," the doctor says with a Southern accent, holding my chin with his hand. I nod in agreement and he inspects my nose, asking Santana to get some paper towels to clean my face. I see the door slam open and Blaine, Mercedes, and Kurt come in, both of them looking horrified when they see me.

"You're stuttering… I think we need to get you to the hospital," the doctor says.

"No, she's always had that," Santana assures him, and the doctor nods.

"Okay, Tina, unless you want a crooked nose, I'm going to have to break it back into place," the doctor says, and my heart drops in my chest. Break my nose… _again? _I mean, obviously he'll have to do that... I remember hearing about this at college.

"You've got a pretty small nose… it will only hurt for a sec," he tries to assure me, and I reluctantly nod.

"Wait wait wait, I've gotta get a picture of this," Mercedes says, snapping a quick picture of me with her phone. Santana shoots Mercedes a death glare like I've never seen, and the girl quietly retreats to the back of the small crowd. The doctor turns back to me, his big, calloused hands on my nose.

"Tina, just look at me. Don't think about it okay?" he tells me, and Santana rushes to my side, taking my hand in hers. I nod and look at the doctor, afraid to look at Santana in case this guy snaps my nose crooked again.

"Mi amor, don't—" I cut Santana off when I scream, the pain of my twice broken nose bursting through my skull. I shut my eyes and squeeze Santana's hand, the pain slowly melting away with each passing minute. I open my eyes and look at the good doctor, a smile on my face.

"F-F-F-Fuck… thank you," I tell the man, and he winks at me.

"Just doin' my job, miss. Make sure you ice that when you get home. Have a good night now," he says, bowing a little and exiting the restroom quickly. As soon as he leaves everyone crowds around me, making sure I'm all right.

"Does your head still hurt, sweetie?" Santana asks, and I nod, letting go of her hand. "I think we should go home." I grunt in approval, letting her help me up off the tiled floor.

"Goodnight guys," I say to my friends, and they all return the goodbye. Santana utters a quiet goodbye as well, ushering me out into the main bar. As we walk across the floor to the exit I hear a snort behind us.

"Nice nose, Blowin' Wang. At least now you won't be able to smell the grease when you're back working at Won Ton's Dumpling Shack." I turn around to see Kitty Wilde, a devilish smirk on her face. I never thought I'd see her again.

"You know w-w-w-what? I p-p-p-put up with your shit in high school, but I am **not **putting up with it now. So get your s-s-skinny, white ass out of my sight before I have to do something that I'll regret," I shout, turning back to Santana.

"Come on, mi amor. Let's go," she says, taking my arm and trying to get me away from the vicious ex Cheerio. Apparently, though, Kitty isn't quite done with me yet.

"W-w-w-w-what was that, S-S-S-Stutters? C-C-C-Couldn't quite m-m-m-make that out," she says with a self-satisfied smirk.

Before I can even process it, I spin around and sucker punch Kitty right in the jaw, sending her reeling back into a table of people. I cradle my hand and let Santana quickly lead me out of the bar before I can get in trouble. When we're back home Santana immediately begins fussing over me.

"Tina, lay down on the couch, okay? Here, drink this," she says, practically throwing me a glass of water. Santana quickly runs to the kitchen, and I hear her banging around in there, eventually returning with a bag of ice in hand. Sitting down on the couch beside me, she gingerly places the cold bag on my heavily bruised nose.

"Need anything else, sweetie?" she asks, rubbing her thumb over my hand. I nod. "What is it? More water, some Gatorade, maybe? That would probably be a good idea…"

"S-S-Sannie, I just want to cuddle," I chuckle, and her face falls into a relaxed smile. "Stop worrying s-so much. I'm okay now." I lean up and kiss her on the forehead, coming back down and smiling. Wordlessly, Santana lies down on the couch with me, and I scoot over and lay on top of her, her warm arms wrapping around me.

"I've got to say, you were a total badass back there. I'm pretty sure you broke her jaw, or at least gave her a shiner," Santana whispers in a low tone, nuzzling my neck. I chuckle and lean back a bit, sighing and closing my eyes.

"I'm sorry we had to leave early… I'm s-s-such an idiot for falling," I apologize, and Santana gently pushes some hair away from my eyes, planting a warm kiss on my lips.

"It's okay, it was lame anyway. Mercedes was talking about Adam and Alec the entire night… I swear that woman is crazy. Why would she want kids anyway?"

"I dunno. I guess that's what she wanted," I say, closing my eyes again and yawning.

"You tired?"

"Yeah."

"Want to go up to bed?" I shrug, and I shriek when Santana scoops me up and runs me upstairs, throwing me on our bed. We both change into our pj's and kiss each other goodnight, falling asleep facing each other.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

It's a cool, spring day in New York. The sun is happily shining down on my face, which is tilted up to the sky to soak in the warm rays. I slide my reflective aviators onto my face, my nose still a bit sensitive from when I broke it. The bruising has gone down a lot, but there's still a little soreness and discoloration around the area. I hear my phone chirp in my purse and I open it up to fish around for my cell, smiling triumphantly when I succeed in finding it.

**From Jenn: tina, where are ya?**

I smirk to myself, quickly typing a response to my college buddy. Jenn and I were roommates junior and senior year of college, and we've been inseparable ever since.

**To Jenn: the good Starbucks, like I told you!**

I place my phone down on the glass table outside one of the sixteen thousand Starbucks in NYC. As soon as I do that, my phone chirps again, this time with a personalized ringtone of Santana singing to me. I smile and receive the call, lifting the cell phone to my ear.

"Hey honey, what's up?" I ask, crossing my legs.

"_I just wanted to ask where you put the blender," _Santana tells me, and I can hear her opening and closing cabinets.

I chuckle. "W-W-What do you need the blender for?" I laugh, confused. "It's in the cabinet underneath the sink."

"_I… here it is," _she says, probably putting the machine on the counter and leaning against the hard surface. _"I wanted to make smoothies… Quinn decided to come over and visit." _

I'm surprised. "High school Quinn? I mean, I know you talked to her d-during the reunion… but I didn't think you guys were going to b-b-become besties again." I take a cursory glance at my surroundings, seeing no sign of my friend. "Well, I s-suppose it's for the best. I'm glad you like each other again."

"_That's all fine and dandy, but the problem is… I don't really like her," _Santana says, lowering her voice mid-sentence. _"She seems nice and all… but she was a bitch to me in high school. Remember when all us college kiddies came back to glee club for the play?" _

"Yeah, what about it?"

"_Well she said some shit about me being 'jealous' of her and Yale, and I made a comment about her banging her professor -"_

"She had s-s-sex with… oh good lord…"

"_Tina, focus. I don't have much time before she comes out of the bathroom," _Santana hisses, and for a moment I imagine her crouching behind the counter, hiding from Quinn. _"Anyway, she slapped me—"_

"Babe, I h-h-hate to cut you off, but I've got to go. Love you!" I say all at once, ending the call and leaving Santana to her own devices.

"Girlfriend problems?" Jenn quips, her light blue eyes shining, and her hair looks a lighter blonde than it was when I last saw her, probably because she spends most of her time at the beach. I stand up and pull Jenn into a tight hug, a huge grin growing on my face.

"Yeah, actually. One of Ana's old friends s-s-surprised her and came over the house… she's hiding," I laugh, sitting down when Jenn does.

"That sounds like Santana," she grins, grabbing my coffee and taking a sip. Jenn immediately recoils, wearing a look of pure disgust on her face. "This is _disgusting, _Tee. I thought you always liked your coffee with eight pounds of sugar and cream?" She coughs dramatically and sets my drink back down in front of me, and I smugly take a sip.

"S-S-Sannie always wakes up first to make the coffee… she insists that black coffee is better for you," I tell her, smiling a bit.

"Tee… what the fuck happened to your nose?" Jenn says, suddenly taking serious concern in my face. "Did you get in a fight or something cool?" She asks, taking my chin in her hand and tilting my head every which way.

I shake my head and smile. "You're gonna laugh… but I f-f-fell in a bar and broke my nose. This g-g-guy had to break my nose back into place."

"Ouch… it looks alright though," Jenn says, pausing before smiling. "You should just tell people you got into a fight. Way cooler." I roll my eyes and ask her how she's been.

Jenn smiles. "I've been good… I've gone through three boyfriends since the last time we saw each other," she shrugs, and I purse my lips and frown.

"I'm s-s-sorry, hon," I say, reaching over the table to touch her arm. "Here I am, talking about Ana…"

Jenn shakes her head. "No, no. I love seeing you happy, Tee. With all the shit you've been through… you deserve it. Really." I roll my eyes and grin.

"So, how's the new job w-w-working for you? You're probably a prodigy, right?" I laugh and Jenn smirks.

"It's going pretty well, actually…." Jenn continues talking, but a woman behind Jenn distracts me. The woman is about my age, with long, blonde hair, and wearing a blue tank top and bright green flip-flops. She's tapping away on a laptop, a baby sleeping in a stroller beside her. Every minute or so the woman looks over at her baby, pushing back a lock of his hair or just making sure he's comfortably snoozing in the shade.

"Earth to Tina, hello!" Jenn calls, waving a hand over my face. I snap out of my focus and turn my attention back to her.

"Sorry," I say, and take another sip of coffee. Jenn turns around in an attempt to see what I was looking at.

"What were you looking at?" she asks, leaning in closer. "That cute girl, the one with the blue tank?"

"What? No!" I hiss. "Well… yes, k-kind of."

"Do you think she's hot?"

"Stop!" I tell her, trying not to laugh. "I'm not looking at her… I w-was looking at her baby." Jenn pouts her lips and puts a hand on her coffee.

"Do you want that?" she asks, becoming slightly more serious. "I mean, I don't think I want kids… too much work."

I sigh and look up at her. "I do. I mean, this is s-s-sort of the age where you're supposed to have kids. But… it's hard." Jenn nods, understanding what I'm saying.

"Have you talked about it with Santana?" Jenn asks, and I shake my head. "How come?"

"I d-d-don't think she wants that. We were talking about our friend's kids, and she told me she didn't understand why someone would want a baby," I sigh, pouting my lips a bit. "It's just a tough conversation, you know?"

Jenn smiles. "It is. But like you said, time is passing the both of you by. If you really want that, you should talk to her."

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" I sing, throwing my keys into the little bowl on the counter. When I don't hear a response I walk around the house, searching for my girlfriend. "T? Donde estas?" I come into the bedroom to see a sleeping Tina, curled up on the bed with a magazine open on her stomach. I smile and lay down beside her, exhaling and gently playing with her hair. When she stirs I smile, reaching over for the magazine she was reading.

"_Parenting_?" I scoff, wrapping my arms around Tina and holding the magazine in front of us. "Where'd you get this, babe?" I ask, curious.

"The grocery store," she tells me, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Why are you reading it, though? Mom's are definitely not hot," I laugh, flipping through the pages. "Who reads these anyway?"

"P-P-People who want children," Tina stutters, and I stop looking through the magazine and turn Tina over on her side to face me.

"You… you want kids?" I ask carefully, never realizing this before. Tina nods timidly, looking very nervous.

"I-It's just that… I want to share that part of life with you. To have a baby with you," Tina said sweetly. "I just think it's w-wonderful to be a mom, you know? All the little macaroni art projects they m-make for you, the innocence…" she trails off, her almond shaped eyes looking straight into mine. "You don't want kids, do you?"

I sigh and bite my lip. "To be honest… not really. I mean, kids are a lot of work, T. The crying, the messes."

Tina frowned. "But we'll be doing it together, Ana," she protested, pulling me up against her. "Don't you want a little S-S-Santana Jr running around?"

"It's just…" I trail off, not wanting to say it.

"Just what?"

I sigh and pull Tina closer to me, our bodies pressed together intimately. "One of us or both of us are going to have to deal with the fact that this kid won't be ours. If we adopt, it won't be either of ours. If we decide to… get pregnant, only one of us will have that biological connection with our baby."

"Even still… why would it matter who it came out of? As long as we l-l-love it, isn't that all that matters?" Tina said, hugging me tighter. I sigh, knowing she's right.

"It's obvious you really want this, Tina," I say, playing with a lock of her hair. "What would you want to do?"

"The first thing in life I w-was grateful for was my mothers adopting me. If they hadn't taken me out of Korea… I w-would've just wandered the streets until someone probably k-killed me or kidnapped me. I owe them my life." I immediately know this is close to home for Tina; of course she would want to adopt.

"I mean, I guess adopting would be nice… but don't you want to have your own baby?" I ask, pursing my lips. "I don't want to go through that… but do you?" Tina bites her lip, thinking.

"I thought about it. It w-w-would be nice… but once I start getting closer to my d-due date, I'd have to take off work. And I wouldn't want to leave the baby with a nanny; I w-w-would want to stay home and take care of it."

"Look," I say, resting Tina's head on the base of my neck and smoothing down her hair rhythmically. "We don't have to decide now, okay? All I want you to know that if you want this, I'll be right there with you," I tell her, smiling. "I'll make you a mommy, I promise boo." Tina smiles and kisses me, her tongue sliding into my mouth.

"Thanks, sweetie," she says.

"Anything for my lady," I tell her, tapping her on the nose. Tina's eyes suddenly light up; she looks like she just remembered something.

"What happened with Quinn? I c-came home and you weren't here…" Tina trails off, making me roll my eyes. "Was it that bad?"

"Well…"

_Three hours earlier…_

Santana lounges on the couch, legs stretched out and a laptop balanced on her lap. Typing away on the keyboard, Santana has one ear plugged into her music, idly humming along with "Hung Up". There's an unexpected knock at the door, and Santana slowly puts her work on the coffee table and pushes herself off the couch. The knock comes louder this time, and Santana groans and walks to the door.

"Coming!" she calls to the visitor, taking the doorknob and pulling it back.

"Hey, S," Quinn says, stepping into Santana's apartment. An eyebrow rose quizzically, Santana closes the door and follows Quinn to the kitchen. "Where's Tina?" she asks, turning back to the dark-haired woman. Santana crosses her arms and tilts her head up slightly.

"Out, why do you care?" Santana replies defensively. "What are you here for, anyway?"

Quinn picks up a picture frame that holds a photo of Tina and Santana at the beach, most likely taken by a friend. The picture after that shows the two kissing, the wind blowing their hair back.

"I thought we could catch up, talk for a bit," Quinn shrugged, picking up another picture. "These are cute," she said simply, setting it down and smiling at Santana.

"I thought we did enough catching up at the reunion," Santana says shortly, pursing her lips a bit. Quinn rolls her eyes, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

"We used to be such good friends, San. What happened? I thought we would be those friends who would just call each other on a whim, when we needed each other. It seems like you hate me…"

"Yeah, until you gave me that tender love tap on the face," Santana spat, obviously still angry. "You called me all kinds of awful names, and you called Tina some rude shit too." Quinn rolls her eyes, pouting her lips and crossing her arms.

"Are you _still _not over that? Really, Santana… I thought you grew up," Quinn said, a hint of dominance in her voice. "I thought you were better than this."

Santana shot her a look of disbelief. "I can't believe _you _still haven't gotten over yourself! Look at you… you're spending your time visiting your old cheerleading buddies that you treated like crap in high school. Don't you have a job? I thought you were living in Chicago with your fancy doctor boyfriend," the Latina shouted, throwing her hands up in frustration. She really didn't need Quinn's shit right now, but the girl had literally knocked down her door.

Quinn fell back a little, her queen bee mask cracking. "He actually kicked me out a week ago. I've been living with Rachel and her husband." Santana refuses to let down her guard, keeping her lips pressed together tightly. "I… I don't even know why I came here."

"You're jealous." Quinn shoots Santana one of her famous death glares, but the dark-haired woman refuses to back down. "Admit it. You're jealous of me. Why else would you come here?"

Unexpectedly, Quinn begins to tear up. Santana's face falls almost immediately, but she's not sure what to do. When Quinn breaks out into a loud sob, Santana opens her arms and holds up Quinn before she falls on the floor. Santana held the girl awkwardly in her arms, trying to think of what would make her feel better. Tina wasn't this emotional, ever.

"I… I thought he loved me," Quinn sobbed, sucking in a hysterical breath. "You have everything! Love, a great career, lots of friends…" the blonde trails off, sobbing again. "It's not fair!"

"It's not easy. Don't you remember senior year?" Santana told her, hugging Quinn tighter. "You're going to fall before you get to the top."

Quinn couldn't help but snort. "Did you find that in a fortune cookie?" Santana shakes her head and smiles.

"Tina, actually. Listen, don't worry about what you don't have, Q," Santana told the other woman, shrugging her shoulders. "You'll find your way." Quinn pulls away from Santana, wiping away the tears from her eyes.

"You've changed… a lot. High school Santana would've kicked me while I was down…"

"Yeah, well, don't count yourself lucky," Santana said, letting go of the girl. Quinn couldn't help but laugh.

"I-I think I'm going to clean myself up," Quinn said, smiling slightly. "Where's your bathroom?"

Santana pointed her down the hall and into the bathroom. As soon as she disappeared, Santana ran over to her phone and dialed Tina's number. Getting an idea to calm both she and Quinn down, Santana looked for the Vodka in the cabinet and searched for the blender.

"_Hey honey, what's up?" _

"I just wanted to ask where you put the blender…"


End file.
